I'M Breathing
All this time I thought that if I continued to pour my love into you, you'd eventually love me just as much.
I thought that my love could save you.
That my love could mend your brokenness.
I gave and I gave and you continued to take.
Draining me slowly, but you were mine so I kept asking God to renew my strength.
I continued to love you, but you started to take more of me more often.
So often, that I couldn't replenish myself fast enough.
When you were hurt, I dove in to touch all the spots that needed healing.
When you were broken, I found the glue to put your pieces back together. When you were sour, I took my nectar and poured it over you to make you sweeter.
When you were mean, I took that in and made you kind.
If you were low on energy, I pushed my energy on you to fill you back up so that you could conquer the world.
But you needed more, and you needed it faster.
I began to cut corners and found other ways to patch myself up so that I could sustain the love that we both needed.
I put you on my back, even though it was too much weight for me to bare. When my back gave out, I put you on my shoulders.
I'm sinking. I'm sinking slowly, but yet I'm still trying to find a way to push you up.
I feel my breath slowly being taken away, but if I can just save you I know you're stronger, so you can pull me up.
But as the hurt, the pain, the lies began to take my last breaths, I reached for your hands and you let mine go.
I'm sinking, and I see you watching me.
I'm reaching for you, but you don't lift a hand.
Everything that I took on was too much for you to bare.
The only way you could survive was by stepping off my shoulders and letting me go.
I wanted to fight but you had taken every bit of fight I had in me.
I had nothing left, so I gave In a began to let go.
I felt a peace arise and I thought this was it.
But then I felt this calmness and He said not yet.
He pulled me up and began replenishing my air.
He saved me bit by bit.
I'm starting to breath on my own again but I can still see your face watching me drown.
It hurts like hell. But I'm breathing.
Inhale deep.
Exhale slowly.
I'm breathing...
Copyright © Jaylanea Holmes | Year Posted 2017
|