Someone Screaming
Like someone screaming under water
No one can hear my cries
The more I struggle, the more I drown
Trying to keep head above water
The voice in my head tells me I can’t swim
So nothing moves
The pains of watching everything around you crumble
Feel like I’m about jump out of a burning building to my suicide
It’s out of the frying pan and into the fire
It all gets too much at some point
I can’t breathe, yet I’m still alive
I am dying yet am still walking
I feel dead, so I must be a ghost
Can’t figure out why I feel this way
Or what’s eating me up inside
I haven’t given up I have given in
If I’m going to fight, I will have to fight within myself
Erase the demons of depression if that’s what they are
I’ve come to hate everything and everyone
Thinking everyone is fake and not genuine
Feel so alone not in the mood for small talk
Lest I jump out and scratch your face
I’m like a lion after a fight in the sun
Nursing and mourning the wounds on its back
In the cold morning of the African sun
I’m listening to the pain as if it has a sound
Provides a certain adrenaline I’m used to
Pain and sorrow, a sombre tune
Hypmatising, leaves you broken
I push you away thinking it may be contagious
But if you can reach into the coldness of my heart
And find love and warmth then you can stay
Like the roaring sea I can’t promise I won’t have these outbursts every now and then like panic attacks
Want you out of range when the waves try to sweep you away violently, I don’t want to hurt you
Copyright © Rachael Chitondwe | Year Posted 2020
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