Was It Cowardice
I was once bullied, beaten
Burned and buried
With sneering slurs
I was an introvert
I gave them love
My compassion
I gave them all I had
They took advantage of me
And still I kept giving
And they took everything
And left me with nothing else to give
But hatred
I was afraid to say no
I felt feeble to stand my grounds
They made fun of me
My ragged garbs
And I could only watch them
Having fun amusing each other
Ripping my soul apart
My heart full of scars
Moaning in sorrow
They made me hate school
I was afraid to raise my hand
And
Ask when I did not understand
Afraid to do presentations and orals
And I failed…Morons
I called them friends
My Classmates
Yet
They filled me with vicious resentment
Burning in my chest
My eyes bleeding Vengeance
My breath became a feral windstorm
Terminating my feelings
I saw nasty curs when I grimaced at them
I tortured and killed insects
Burning them alive because all I could see
Were their evil faces
And I was killing myself
All along
Along the road I forgave them
And started to hate myself
For being a victim of cowardice
I have no one to blame
But myself
They did not chain my hands
Or latched my mouth
I was a coward
I couldn’t man up and defend myself
Or
Maybe I wasn’t scared of them
But
I was scared to become one of those undisciplined
Oaf minded juveniles
You shouldn’t disguise your actual self
To look better
To conform with friends
I am who I am
Not who they want me to be
I trashed myself more than they did
And I have learned my lesson
Copyright © Molantwa Mmele | Year Posted 2015
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