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Goodbye Tiger

something inside of me tingles
pin pricks of excitement
a feeling i do not recognize 
i answer to no one for i am wild 
being tamed only by the the intentions and expectations of those i love
for the first time in so long i am free to love back 
despite the things you said about them 
despite the imperfect way they say " Andi don't" 
I can see the pink yellow and orange in "Andi don't"
you are still here but you look different to me now
younger and smaller and stranger
I see you stomping airplanes 
i see you tears despite
I see it change 
clouds of chaos clear 
I am my own superior 
and I judge myself harshly 
But I see tickles
and i see children laughing 
and I critique myself a little more kindly
I have made improvement ma'am I need from you a raise
My bank was robbed for years and years
a deposit must be made
Oh i deserve it have no fear 
My hours are longer there are no days off 
but still i smile anyway
still i persevere 
I am swift and strong and diligent
the old organization controls me no longer 
no one tenses at it footsteps anymore
unorganized and disoriented 
yes I was 
thrown shocked hurt and almost broken almost broken 
Almost though - is the least ambivalent word i know
Almost means i was not when i could have been
oh Aldous what do you know of brave new worlds
come here and sit for i have a thing or two tell you 
I am Alice in Wonderland 
I am Dorothy and this is the emerald palace
I am riding hood this is me kneeling before the wolf
And I am telling him he is no longer welcome to gobble up my grandmas and threaten my well being 
I am Hansel and Grettle - I found the breadcrumbs 
No longer am i lost
I am following them back to family 
I am Pinocchio and i am finally listening to Jiminey 
I am reading bed time stories to my kids 
and I AM NOT SORRY

Copyright © Andrea Saggese | Year Posted 2015

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things