War Inside Me
There is a war inside my head,
A thousand things I wish I’d said.
A thousand thoughts I cannot show,
A thousand places I still go.
I smile outside, I play my part,
While something breaks inside my heart.
I say, “I’m fine,” and walk away,
Then fight my thoughts again all day.
One little word can change my mood,
One little silence feels so rude.
One unanswered message late at night
Can turn a spark into a fight.
I question things I shouldn't know,
Searching for reasons, high and low.
I read between each word and line,
Then make their silence somehow mine.
I think of things from long ago,
The doors I closed, the ones I know.
The people I loved, the ones I lost,
The things I wonder what they cost.
I ask myself, “Was I too much?
Did I care too deep, too much?
Did I stay when I should have gone?
Did I hold on for far too long?”
My phone lies glowing by my side.
I type a message, then I hide
The words I wanted to explain,
And leave them somewhere in my brain.
The tea beside me has gone cold,
Like all the things I used to hold.
The room is quiet, the night is still,
But my restless mind refuses to chill.
I close my eyes, but thoughts remain.
They come like thunder, fall like rain.
I fight the memories, wrong and right,
And battles no one sees at night.
They see me laugh, they see me smile,
But never see the war all the while.
Sometimes I don't need words or advice,
I only need someone to stay
Without asking me to explain the day.
So tonight, I'll let the thoughts arrive
And remind myself that I'm alive.
I don't have to solve everything,
Or understand what tomorrow brings.
The war may be loud, the road may be long,
But somewhere inside me, I remain strong.
Maybe I don't have to win
To finally be free.
Maybe peace begins
When I stop fighting
The war inside me.
Copyright © Shemaila Mehtab Baig | Year Posted 2026
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