The Break Up Poem
Even without access to my heart you break it
The pain is unbelievable
You are unbearable
Tears I didn't know I had pour from me until I'm drained
And then over and over again
Until I can barely recognize myself
Who I am gets lost in what I'm feeling
I wonder how can I be good in my soul
And be made to feel so low and left to feel it alone
It's the price for not loving you authentically
Because I was a victim who could only pretend to love her predator in hopes to make him docile and plan for escape
I don't miss you when you go
I don't think of you
I don't desire
I don't fancy you
But still I cling to the hope of redemption
I look in your eyes and hope to find a learned lesson
A cushion to soften all the hard blows you landed
A tenderness found in the time that's passed for the state of life you left me in
You abandoned me
Unforgivably abandoned our kids
Still you look at the mess you've made and step over it
I see you I see hatred
Don't ask me to give You one more chance
You only want me at your convenience
Memories are painful
Scarcely good
You'll never be able or willing to give me what I want
You'll make promises you can never promise you'll keep
Your offer of love is too late
And I know you mean what you say
However I've un-boarded this train
Packed up all my pain
Every day I take a step toward a brighter day
Just as the sunshine warms my skin
You're here again
Picking at wounds that have barely healed
Stealing the sun and force me into an emotional whirlwind
I will not board this train again
I take another step in the other direction
Learn how to breath through the pain all over again
One day at a time
One day I'll see the sun shine on me again?
Copyright © Zen Reed | Year Posted 2015
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