Self-Loathing
Step after step I move forward.
Into the abyss,
Into the pit
Black, thick, silent,
The pool is filled
Yet the tar is so bleak and empty.
Fully submerged there is nothing,
Nothing but me
Nothing to smell hear or see
So I focus on me
My weaknesses
My faults
My mistakes
I feel all the pain as the air leaves my lungs
As the pressure of all that I’ve done bears down upon my chest and back.
Bones bend and muscles contract.
That last bit of air
Right before sweet eternal sleep
Escapes into the darkness
And for that moment the pain stops and the pressure fades…
I am cold.
I am lost.
Floating back to the top…
I inhale
And life is restored…until next time.
Copyright © Chad Gordon | Year Posted 2013
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