To This Day
To this day I still look back
Back to the days of terror and
dread
I was afraid of what the days
had to hold
Always getting on the bus and
feeling like I had
Died and gone to an eternal
hell
Fag loser and queer those were
some of the dozens of names
they called me
They felt like bitter barbs
piercing my heart and soul
People keep saying sticks and
stones my brake my bones but
words will never hurt me
But that is an utter lie
Lacerated flesh and broken
bones can heal in time
But words and names can
crush someones heart and soul
Changing who they are and
what they will become
Thats happened to thousands
of children just like me
And they thought they knew
me
They thought that they could
just read me like an open book
Those days those eternal days
And those days turned to
weeks to months to years
Walking through the halls with
all eyes looking down at me
I could feel them I could feel
the accursed eyes
Their eyes bored into my soul
ripping it out through the
Dead heart in my chest
Recess came but going outside
meant certain death
getting pushed into the dirt and
kicked in the gut
I grew up fearing the outside
and the sun
It was as if the sun was a black
hole sucking all life into its void
and emptiness
Never going outside out of fear
of all of the monsters and
beasts
armed with an arsenal of pain
and destruction
That inhabit the outside world
So I stay inside my locked
room cutting all of those my
fears away
Upon my upper arm the blood
drips with the fear of others
But those were not the deepest
cuts
Those were the cuts of the
emotions that were the deepest
For years that's how life was
Until the day I made a friend
A friend that would never give
up on me
That wouldnt let me fall
He brought me from the
darkest place
And picked me up from the
ground
And to this day I shall never
forget
What that friend has done for
me
Through the time that he
helped me through
He taught me to love myself for
who I am
He taught me to ignore all the
words
And all the names
Of all of the people who have
the audacity
To destroy and pick on
someone who is different
And to this day his lessons still
push
And still keep me going
To love me for me
And to know that they were all
wrong
So listen and take heed
To the words that I have been
saying
Love you for you
And dont fear the power of
man
Dont let them change you from
who you are
Stay true to yourself and the
power that you hold
And maybe in the days to come
You can say with strength and
pride
"To this day I love me for me"
Copyright © Spencer Thurman | Year Posted 2013
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