Believe
When I was younger i was taught to believe in god
Now i wonder if i misunderstood, Whether it was all a mirage
Baptized in holy water so the father could give a trial by fire
Suicidal thoughts seek to conspire
As we forget the angels and our demons consume us
Earth encrusted shoulders, each day a little boulder
And I want to be a believer
But all i see is anger and shots of liquid amber
I heard the preacher tell me that god loves us
That we're like angels, simply wingless
And i want to believe
That there's someone out there
But every prayer brings another Sandy
Children in the school yard fall like confetti
Like a bloody ticker-tape parade
As his light simply tiger stripes the shade
Never erases, simply highlights the
Yosemite Sam sound effects that serenade
A generation where white boards double a body armor
And with every dead child i struggle to reconcile
This love-hate relationship
But i want to believe
That the love outweighs the hate
But we're screaming hello
While he whispers goodbye
Like we're that second page in another hopeless fairy tale
Sprinkling bodies like Hansel's breadcrumbs
As we search for that ginger bread house they told us was a church
But we find only the pieces of us we left behind
The parts that shattered on impact as we free fell
Leaving us looking a little less beautiful than before
And i want to believe
But im stuck in this mortuary closet
Filled with skeletons of my past life
Sitting around trading war stories
And i want to believe
I look for god, but i never get pass the neon cathedral
Sacramental whiskey sips and bartender confessionals
Never used a chaser i was too afraid to chase the truth
Mostly cause i was to scared of myself
So i exchange fear for numbness as I use whiskey-scented band aid substitutes
Trying to drown my demons but my terrors taught them to swim
I just want to believe
But first i want to believe in me
Copyright © Nick Yuknalis | Year Posted 2014
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