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FactoidMan and ShallowMan - Part 3

“ShallowMan, if you’ve conflictions
owing to your mind’s addictions
to subconscious maledictions,
due to doubt in old convictions;
tell me now of your afflictions.”

“FactoidMan, I must confess
I understand you more or less
though subtleties provoke distress,
and even more your fine finesse
inclines to make my mind compress.
Forgive me now my cheekiness
in asking you for some redress;
although you’ve certainly gained success 
convincing others, nonetheless
my valuations retrogress
to untold depths of shallowness
the more your reasons (which impress
onlookers with your cleverness
at citing Facts, most referenceless)
dissolve like dragons in Loch Ness.” 

[Well FactoidMan must simply smile
(and sometimes chuckles for a while)
when ShallowMan acts infantile
and won’t attempt to reconcile
those Facts that rhyme like truth and guile.]

“I know that all you say’s legit 
though oft your Facts sound counterfeit
and leave my dawning mind unlit
(just feeling like a retrofit).
But, on the whole, I must admit,
a mental fog’s a benefit;
when eyes are closed and hairs are split
expressions vague, I might submit
although the Facts don’t seem to fit!
Please help me once to cope with it.” 
“Oh ShallowMan you’re so amusing
when my Facts you find confusing;
you’ve no profit when refusing
simple truths of my own choosing;
bathe in wisdom I’m suffusing
when awake or else while snoozing.”

“Oh FactoidMan, ’twould be a sin
to mourn for thoughts that might-have-been
if you had had more time to spin
some arguments to underpin
conclusions bringing much chagrin
to those who try to do yours in.
For yes, it seems your notion’s thin
(though acrid, sweetened up within
a grain of salt called saccharin).”

“Yes, ShallowMan, you must have known,
I’d find your mindset set-in-stone
when claiming notions underblown
(especially those I call my own)
ignoring all the Facts I’ve shown,
a lapse to which you’re plainly prone.”
“No, FactoidMan, I’m not disbanding
your contentions so outstanding
(even though they need expanding
for a thorough understanding);
with some polish or else sanding
(you know, somewhat less demanding)
they might make a model landing,
lack of catwalk notwithstanding.”

“To answer you I’ll write a ditty
getting to the nitty-gritty,
oh so lofty, oh so witty,
where the Facts shine, oh so pretty;
if you’re lost, then more’s the pity,
tell it to my subcommittee,
‘Miss Direction’s Detour City’.
Now it’s time to feed the kitty.” 

[Well FactoidMan’s concluding quip
to give advice and hold his grip
(by letting words of wisdom drip)
displayed adroit one-upmanship:]
“Hubba hubba, ching ching ching,
now I’ve taught you everything
without a hook, without  a string;
you needn’t clutch, you needn’t cling,
just bow instead and kiss my ring.”


Copyright © Terry O'Leary | Year Posted 2019


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  1. Date: 12/16/2019 11:07:00 AM

    I agree with other reviwer love the flow and rhyme david scott
  1. Date: 8/4/2019 2:33:00 AM

    [ ... said FactoidMan, the Banal King, to ShallowMan's dry driveling, (reminding me that they BOTH sing inside my skull) ... that "schizoid" thing! ] This all hits too close to home, Terry, (tempering the toroidal vortices that keep me awake, lol), but I love it, and haven't had as much poetic funparking in a long time. Wonderful rhyme and flow, but I must say it's the meter that is sweeter! Thanks so much for sharing - I must do the same with my kids - they will enjoy this one! Blessings!
  1. Date: 7/4/2019 10:25:00 PM

    Dynamic Duo, fighting windmills. Hoping that they hadn't bothered you. One is a whiner that used to bother a dear friend of mine. The other is a snoop. They unnerve each other.
  1. Date: 4/20/2019 7:00:00 PM

    I hereby pronounce.... a tie! Amusing me Irish friend but would have had more substance if they actually had anything worth debating. Still, your rhymes are good, as always