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I Looked For You

I looked for you
You weren’t there

I looked for you
And you weren’t there

I looked back at what started at me
Instantly
Panic consumed me

I looked all over that room for me
In drawers, closets and even under bedsheets

Retracing my steps
I went back
Back through my puberty

I see the you in me
 But who am I truthfully 
My truth keeps eluding me

Don’t push your views into me
Who pushed the world into me
I’m tipping over
It’s only right I feel empty

I looked for you

In all the places you used to hang
Within all the faces you held a gaze
Rummaged through your fits of rage
Asked past lovers
Would they ever love the same

They hadn’t seen you

But recalled the flame 

I called your name

I thought I called your name

A voice so faint

Fragile and strange
Whispered through my soul

I am you… I am change

Copyright © Lauren Patton | Year Posted 2023

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Book: Shattered Sighs