Read Poems by Christina Leno

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Poem

I Did Not Ask


                                                         I Did Not Ask

I did not ask to wake up one day only to say “I think I’ll be an alcoholic today.”
I did not ask to feel hurt and shame with family pointing at me to blame.
I did not ask for addiction by name. I did not ask to cause confusion and shame.
I did not ask  to lose control, feeling anxiety, depression as a hole.
 I did not ask for this family tree, it simply chose me.
I did not ask for dry heaves in the morning and shakes at night, only to realize I was quite a sight.
I did not ask to tell my children lies, only to hear their pitiful cries.
I did not ask to hide bottles of booze only to discover I had everything to lose.
I did not ask to leave hearth and home only to end up utterly alone.

What did I ask you may say? 

I ask that my family continues to pray.
I ask for my tears to erase all the lost years that cannot be replaced.
I ask for courage from my higher power, to build within me a mighty tower.