The Voice in my head is telling me to feed the cat
The Voice in My Head (Is Telling Me to Feed the Cat)
(To the tune of a soaring, dramatic funk-rock anthem, but performed with the frantic energy of a 3 AM polka)
(Spoken intro, very serious and soulful)
Oh... yeah. The house is dark. The clock strikes three. But I am never alone.
I hear a whisper echo in the hallway dark,
It's demanding something crunchy, and it's leaving a mark!
I try to close my eyes, I try to catch some sleep,
But the acoustic demands are starting up a sweep!
It’s the Voice in my Head, and it’s shouting out loud:
"Hey human, wake up! Aren't you feeling proud?"
It’s the Voice in my Head, and it won't let me rest,
Just a fuzzy little tyrant putting me to the test!
Meow-nificent!
I check the kitchen bowl, and it’s completely bare,
Just a single lonely kibble and a clump of hair.
Now the pacing begins, like a tiny tiger's prowl,
Accompanied by a very rhythmic, judgmental yow!
It’s the Voice in my Head, and it’s shaking a tin:
"You opened the wet pouch, so you're ready to sin!"
It’s the Voice in my Head, singing high notes of doom:
"If you don't drop the salmon, I'll shred up the room!"
(Bridge - Heavy synthesizer accordion breakdown)
You think it’s about peace? You think it’s about love?
No, it’s knocking my expensive ceramic mugs from above!
It’s a sonic assault with a purr like a chainsaw,
Demanding fresh water straight out of the tap-jaw!
So I drag my heavy bones across the wooden floor,
While the fuzzy little demon waits right by the door.
I fill it to the brim, I step back with a sigh,
And the voice turns to purring as it walks right on by!
Yeah, the Voice in my Head got exactly its way,
And it'll do it all again in about three hours, hey!
Oh, that Voice in my Head...
(Meow.)
...go back to sleep, you little fuzzball.
Copyright © Jami Patterson | Year Posted 2026
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