Dirty
It was cold
In there all alone
I had nothing left
As I picked up my phone
I typed my last goodbyes
Before I lay down to sleep
I said eff you all
What you sow you will reep
I sat there alone
Scared and ashamed
Bloody and dirty
My arms were all mamed
You made me feel disgusting
Like a price of trash
I kept wondering why
But I didn't thrash
I knew it wouldn't matter
You'd done it before
I couldn't hide
I couldn't lock my front door
So I lay there and prayed
It would be over soon
I just stared out my window
Up at the moon
The bleach made me clean
The blood made me sad
The rape made me feel
So effing l bad
I lay there for hours
I cried out for a day
But I knew to just let you
All have your way
I knew better than fighting
So I closed my eyes
And prayed it would be over
Before the sunrise
But it won't ever end
Cause ill never forget
The one single word
You said as the sun set
I'll never forgive
And I'll never be clean
I'll fade away
And never be seen
I tried and I fought
To keep it inside
But they would never believe me
You would say that I lied
So I drank the bleach
And I picked up the blade
To fix the gaping hole
In my soul that you made
Copyright © Bethany Swanston | Year Posted 2025
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