unloveable sick
you are sick, and I know that
that’s why I will never be mad at you
I can understand and feel your pain perfectly
your brain’s your biggest enemy
always fighting against you
and I could never blame you for that
because you didn’t ask for be what you are
you didn’t asked for being hurt by yourself
or trapped inside your shadows
you’re sick in the brain, I can see that
that’s why you’re always on the run
away from your mind
never stopping
never letting yourself be caught by your thoughts
always trying to find something that holds you trough the dark
a reason not to fall apart
No matter how many times you will make the same mistakes
I will never be mad at you
Because I know you would do it differently
If you wouldn’t manipulate yourself
-And at least you’re trying
Even when you don’t stay for long
you do try to do the right thing
There is a war behind your eyes
that keeps you locked within the walls you made -
walls build high from stone
so that no one sees the cracks you hide
But I do see your blood from fighting
like an ocean of tears
shining in the moonlight
and you drift further and further away
You’re thoughts are infected
by the voice inside your head
which burns itself deeply into your faith
and poisons everything you touch
whispering lies and calling them the truth
so you can’t trust yourself
because the voice yells too loud, too fast, too much
You’re tiered from life
not that kind of tiered sleep could ever fix
you’re exhausted from your brain
like a wet coat you can never take off
and every time you try to explain
you’re voice breaks and you fall into silence
But I hear it all
The silence between your words
The screams between your thoughts
And I know you wish you could breath without hurting
You’re sick in the brain
and that’s not your fault
but it’s real
and you hate it, you hate being sick
you hate how it feels and makes you suffer
how it makes you hurt the ones you love
not because you don’t love them—
but because your sickness tells you
they’d be better off without you
So you leave before they see what you’ve become
you hate how it makes you feel like a monster
when all you are is someone who’s hurt
You are sick, and people don’t see it,
because there’s no bandage, no scar, no blood
But it’s there
invisible, but screaming
And I see it
I see you, despite the pain
And sick doesn’t mean you’re alone
Sick doesn’t mean you’re unworthy
Sick just means you’re lost
you’re lost fighting something
that most people will never understand
you are sick, and I know that
But that never made you unloveable
Copyright © Lizzi Hartmann | Year Posted 2025
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