Inside the BPD mind
I’m sitting all alone with this empty hole inside,
I can’t seem to stop thinking “it’s always me, I’d rather die”. The voices surround me, crying out my biggest fears. As I sit staring blankly at the wall my eyes are filled with tears. Sometimes I feel no emotion, sometimes I’m filled with dread. I’m angry at myself, but it’s all inside my head. I find it hard to function everyday of my life, Will the time ever come where someone wants me as their wife? I’m very hard to deal with when my moods are up and down. One minute I want to party and the next I want to drown. The doctors think I’m crazy, my family thinks I’m mad. And this is why I like to be alone, is it really all that bad?
Tablet after tablet, nothing seems to get better
The impulsive thoughts inside my mind, my face is getting wetter. Will it ever pass? Will I ever cope? this is BPD. I can’t control my actions. It’s taking over me. One day I’m hoping I’ll wake up and it will all just float away. It’s time to take life day by day and pray I’ll be ok. But until the day I feel normal, I have to keep my head held high. Because I have my whole life left, and I’m to young to die.
Copyright © Gemma Walsh | Year Posted 2024
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