Animated Answering Machine
Beep!
Yo! this GOD
You most likely calling
Cause time don got hard
You either got yourself put in jail
Got send to hell
Or maybe things just not going so well
But I’ll hear you out anyway
If you got seriously injured
Trying to be a hero press zero
If you want forgiveness
For what you’ve done
Then press one
If you got a life changing situation
To make and you don’t know what to do
Then press two
If you want to be more like me
But you’re a he/she
Then press three
If you’ve been masturbating or fornicating
And woke up with a purplish sore
Then press four
If you’re barely breathing
Barely alive
Then press five
If you’re currently being beaten
With sticks
Then Press six
If your want salvation to get in heaven
Press seven
To find a GOD fearing soul mate or date
Then Press eight
If your calling to thank GOD and
Everything is fine
Then Press nine
If none of your concerns have been on the count down
Press pound
But if you’re really tried of this
Press the Asterisk
And your call will be sent to the next available
Divinitive representative
If you’re calling to ask GOD for some money to barrow
100 year is only a day to GOD
So hold your breath if he says
He’ll call you tomorrow
If you can’t get thought and you on crack
Please hang up and call back
Copyright © D Randle | Year Posted 2005
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