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Whishes

Sometimes I wish
Things were different,
Or that they were the same as they used to be

That I had people to talk to
That people didn’t hate me
That I knew why people hated me

That I didn’t have to sit here 
Alone
Wishing I wasn't

But its not
So here I am 
Maybe someday it’ll all work out

But for now,
I'm stuck
In an inescapable loop

Of wishing things were different
Of trying not to scream at the people who call me their friend
Of having so many health issues I can’t count them all

Dreaming of the day I leave this place
Going somewhere far away 
Never to see these people again

One day,
I will
And then maybe I won’t be alone

Maybe I’ll go out and not wish to leave the whole time
Maybe
I’ll be happy.

Copyright © Julia Heppner | Year Posted 2022

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things