It's Not About Me
IT’S NOT ABOUT ME
Here I was all this time
Confused, wondering why they hated me,
Many of them barely knew me,
None of them truly knew me,
It even made me ask God,
Is there something wrong with me?
Ninety percent of them love me,
But the other ten percent despise me,
Then He made it so clear,
That their insecurities had nothing to do with me.
One day it hit me,
Like, like yes, Chrissette Michelle,
An epiphany.
Hit me so hard that here I am sitting on the side
of the road
To release it-
The words of my epiphany about me.
I thought it was me,
But finally I see,
It’s not all about me,
It’s about them and their insufficiencies,
Their lack of love and respect for themselves,
Their doubt regarding their self worth,
Their hate for their irrational decisions,
Their wishes that they could turn back the hands of time,
Their realization that they not as they wish they were,
So then they are angered with me.
Their fake confidence and petty gossips
Not because they hate me,
But because they have no love for themselves.
So finally I realize that it’s not me.
It’s them.
They see the beautiful, talented, young, educated,
motivated, blessed black sista doing her
THANG,
Pressing forward,
Not looking back,
Motivated for success,
Getting what she wants,
When she wants it,
How she wants it,
And they aspire to be like me.
Ain’t it shame!
That we claim to have come so far,
Without realizing envy holds us back.
I once heard a woman say,
If you want to take walk in my shoes,
You’d better be ready to fill some big boots,
And walk though manure before you reach the flower bed.
I have no hesitation to say,
I am a tough chick,
Because it wasn’t an easy road,
You have to be strong to make it,
I give thanks to my Source,
Because He could have chosen someone else.
But instead he chose me,
I don’t get mad at these sistas,
It’s a waste of my time and energy,
I just ask God to do for them what he’s done for me,
-Set them free.
Who I am is who I am.
I won’t change, won’t waiver,
won’t be mad if you don’t like,
Or like it so much that you hate me.
I’m not perfect,
But perfectly content with knowing God knows me,
And loves the me I am working to be.
Finally, I see,
They are angry because where they are is their ending,
But where I am is only my beginning.
And all this time,
I thought it was about me,
But it’s not all about me.
Copyright © Jamecia Mayes | Year Posted 2010
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