The Battered Wife
I cannot go backwards.
I can’t believe in the deception
You impersonate so well
Smell of flowers
Plucked in hell
Hugs and kisses when lights are on
Yells and broken walls
When we are all alone
Sweetness that is calibrated
to a love you emaciated
I have lived this deception
But when you left
I gained more perception
And now I see you so well
How you never ever could
Be truthfully yourself
You can keep on trying
But now I know
when you are lying
You think you are starving me without your touch?
You are only saving me from your leftover lust
keeping my body intact
From your half effort love acts
I would pray for you to find someone else
But I don’t like to say prayers wishing for
No one in this world, hell
And you bring the dissonance to your son
The hot and cold
The farse you carry in your entire soul
Is so more than just
An imperfect man sinning
It is machinated scheming
I stopped hearing your cries
When I realized they are calculated
Suppressors of your lies
You really thought you would break my soul?
That’s fine, it makes me smirk a bit, you know
The only thing you did
Was to open cracks in my heart
So I could leak in the world
What I carried within me from the start
Those who have been around you before
They know
I won’t wish you anything
I am too focused on my own growth
Each day I wipe the blood from your gifts
The type of touch you got me used to
Blood, bruises, and stiches
My love that forgave you
Moments after you punched my ears
Making the sounds of your curses
From them literally bleed
That love
Brought me home
Yet you curled in a ball
Inside of the tub
So small
Begging mercy to this soul
You hated with love, you wanted to control
I hugged you in pain and blood
To let you know
We are all one soul
By hurting me
You ended up hurting yourself
Didn’t you know?
I can hear the noises of your lies
The fear of being truthful
The need to eternally be in disguise
I never lost a thing in here
I only regained my strength
And in myself
I never stopped believing
I don’t wish on your downfall
But I am already rising
Cannot withstand being so small
I am far away from your dimension
Nothing more in here that I can do
Just to leave you alone
And pray for you
to live your life with intention
Copyright © Juliana Beaumont | Year Posted 2024
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