A Slighty Cynical Christmas
A Slightly Cynical Christmas
The day before Christmas,
My head’s in a whirl,
Trompsing through malls
With a two-year-old girl.
Rudolph and Frosty
Are far from my mind
It’s some weird talking Elmo
S’Got me standing in line.
The crappy store speakers
Playing “Joy to the World”
Heck, I’ll just be happy
If my Visa’s still good.
Mistletoe hanging
On doors here and there
But if someone dare kiss me
He gets decked “you know where!”
The cashier’s dressed like Santa
With a hat and a beard
Both me and my daughter get
Creeped out ‘cause its weird.
Now don’t get me wrong,
I’m no Grinch, I’m no Scrooge
But all this good cheer’s
Got me reaching for booze.
My gifts are now bought
And we head for the car
Visions of Egg Nog,
Perhaps a stop at a Bar?
We dash through the snow
And laugh all the way
The joy of the season
Momentarily got in my way.
We get into the car
And of course it won’t start
And there is a funny, weird smell
I think its elf farts.
So a quick text to Santa
And his eight tiny reindeer.
And next thing I know,
We’re high in the air.
And I waved to the mall
As we rode out of sight
And I thought to myself
It might be a good night
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
Copyright © Minnie Chatterfield | Year Posted 2008
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