Hope For the End
It had been routine, this punishment
Perhaps I made eye contact
Maybe I had fallen asleep
The reason never mattered
He was angry—or bored
I could never tell which...
But I remember the fluttering twitch
Behind my eyes as they would roll back in my head
And the traveling tingling sensation
That would start in my face
And conquer my body
Exponentially growing
Until my limbs convulsed violently
As if yanked by ropes
It would help to imagine an existential being
Pulling me across the line of existence itself
Freeing me
Each second that passed felt infinitely longer
Giving me hope that this time was the last
The best part was when
Enough time had elapsed
That my body collapsed
And with it had gone all feeling and connection
A calming wave of true bliss and happiness
Would then flood over me
So potent, powerful, impossible to grasp
—A Gasp—
Not again
Regaining just enough consciousness to see his face
I’d feel every nerve in my body panic
As his grip tightened again
Sending me falling back into
Sweet, sweet numbness
Wishing yet again, this time was the last
Copyright © Samantha Linden | Year Posted 2019
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