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Is Life Really Worth It

Is this life really worth it? I’m nervous
Every morning as I peel back my curtains, I look for my purpose,
I have everything I’ve ever wanted, but do I deserve it?
And if I end it all right now will I be doing myself a disservice?
Still looking for that reason to care, that fire, that magic,
If you think I’m overly pessimistic and life is pristine,
Allow me to set the scene,
My spirit is lower than it’s ever been,
So is my morale and self-esteem,
Right hand is writing this, I’m wondering what the other hand will do,
Everything around me is falling apart,
Those closest to me have a panoramic view,
I’ve always wanted to be the center of attention,
That’s vanity though,
Cut myself off from everyone, living like a recluse understandably so,
All of my problems I’m exposing,
I let some parts of my life see through the light,
Leaving the rest frozen,
If it isn’t the anxiety or depression,
It’s the self-loathing

Copyright © Leslie Jesse | Year Posted 2018

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things