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Hello, I'M Still Here

the way that I’m feeling right now
is exhaustingly difficult to explain with words –
I feel like a child, even now when I try to communicate
with you,
          but I don’t think you’ve ever
                                        heard my voice.

          and every once in a while
when my strong slowly dims to an ember,
                              I knew that this was no accident.

          they know that it makes me
angry, because, well,
          there are an infinite amount of words
that I would knot together within my spine to prove to you
                         just how strong I am without you
               but a white lie isn’t supposed to hurt anyone.

I would like to say so many things to you;
                         to your pure flesh and bones,
               but the thing is,
               I’m really bad with public speaking
               and basically anything that has to do with me
walking out on a ledge for you.

	       but,
things tend to sound much better on paper
anyways, don’t they?
                         and well,
words are supposed to be a powerful thing,
                         aren’t they?

                as I sit here contemplating
                                           how I’m going to
return some of your life back into my own,
                I instead find myself thinking about how
                I’m constantly still fighting
for yours.

	        and now here’s where
I decide that this way, we’re better existing
                                           strictly on ink and paper,
	        so that way, we both win.

Copyright © Sam Larson | Year Posted 2018

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Book: Shattered Sighs