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My Own Private Canterbury

When we retired we were so inspired:
To live free and rest from our labors.
This mobile home park has lived up to the mark,
But oh, goodness gracious, the neighbors.

Jay the old peeper can snoop through the creeper
And tell if the ladies are bathing.
At times he's been caught and the women have taught
him new curse words in language quite scathing.

Denny got back from the hoosegow and that
is the end of his meth lab's production.
He'll have to report to the man from the court
with his pee to avoid re-induction.

Jen basks in the sun and we all see her bum
Though we tell her it's not necessary.
In England alone she's seventeen stone
And her armpits are ever so hairy.

A lady name Myrtle we call snapping turtle
(You never know when she'll attack you)
keeps her trailer quite clean but she's viciously mean
And if talked to she'll snap right back at you.

There are neighbors with tone, who have made themselves known
And we're so glad to know they reside here,
But an odd PhD and a master's degree
Can't compete with the felons that bide here.

Copyright © Barbara Putnam | Year Posted 2018


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