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Best Poems Written by Roy Merritt

Below are the all-time best Roy Merritt poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Jesus Christ Be Praised

Jesus Christ Be Praised
By Roy Merritt

He went to see the queen of Spain told her the world was round
That he could get to the east going west that’s what he had found
He told her if he sailed the Atlantic kept going that way  
He could find the wondrous Orient could even find Cathay 

Then they wouldn’t have to go east down that long Silk Road 
And worry about the Muhammadans or bandits as they go  
And so after several tries they finally gave in agreed
And gave him the money for three ships whatever else he’d need

And so on August 3 he set sail pushing out to sea
With three ships the Nina, Pinta and the Santa Marie
And so after many tribulations pushing along with the wind
On Oct. 12 they spotted land their journey at its end

They landed in Hispaniola the natives sorely amazed
They’d never seen such a sight in all their many days
They treated the strangers kindly treated them just like kings
Treated them with human kindness amazed by many things

So Columbus returned to Spain told them of many treasures
This land could provide of many great pleasures
But by his third visit there he'd inspired much hate
The natives wanted to kill him they by now irate

He’d turned them to bondage to work as a slave 
Claiming to make them Christian, Christian to be saved 
This be the way the true Christian word
To enslave a man in bondage which certainly be absurd

Oh yes this be the religion Jesus Christ inspired
The one and only true religion soon to spread like fire
And at last it made to Europe continent of the white man
Who declared an intention to spread it to every land

And so off they went conquering Jesus Christ be praised
At the same time enriching himself turning men to slaves 
Turning men to slaves turning them into beasts 
Jesus Christ be praised Jesus Christ GIVE FEAST!

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They Be Descendants of the Confederacy

They Be The Descendants Of The Confederacy
By Roy Merritt

Way down here in the land of cotton
A great many people are mean and rotten
A great many of them are foul you see
They be descendants of the Confederacy

They love that flag the Stars and Bars
Fly it from their trucks fly it from their cars
Some wear hoods only their eyes you see
They be descendants of the Confederacy

They be fools who feed on hate
They be fools a bunch of stupid ingrates
They be people who vote for poverty  
They be descendants of the Confederacy

They want to go backward fast not slow
They want to go back to days of Jim Crow
They want to hate blacks burning crosses to see 
They be descendants of the Confederacy

They no longer like the Democrats 
Cos’ now they the party of the working class 
Republicans the ones who feed their treachery
They now the party of the Confederacy

They fell for their lies the Republican scam
Thinking these Republicans ever gave damn
Ever gave a damn for their future you see
They be descendants of the Confederacy 
 
Way down here below the Mason Dixon 
They love our food our Christian tradition
The notion they’re kind full of hospitality
They be descendants of the Confederacy

Way down here in the land of cotton
A great many people are mean and rotten
A great many of them are foul you see
They be the descendants of the Confederacy
The ugly descendants of the Confederacy
The truly ugly descendants of the Confederacy

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I Am a Couch Potato

I AM A COUCH POTATO
By Roy Merritt

I am a couch potato, but not russet, red or white
I’m the kind of potato that sits up late at night
And I watch the TV shows the shows I really dig
And sit there in my chair and eat just like a pig

I eat hot dogs and burgers and sometimes even fries
And though we are related none of them ever cries
The only problem I see the problem with this place
Is how I might get more food to shove down in my face

And how I might get it to come right near to me
For its in my refrigerator some distance from me you see
And I know if it could hear me it would no doubt balk
If I dared to ask it to get up from there and walk

Bring me some bologna with mustard spread on bread
Bring me milk and cookies I need to be quickly fed
And get me lots of sodas the sweetest ones the best
The ones that keep you up you never need to rest

And please tell the potty I’ll need it really soon
I’ll no doubt need it morning, night, and noon
So don’t stay in the restroom come near to me as well
But stay far away enough so I can avoid the smell

A few feet should do it and I won’t much have to try
While I eat my pumpernickel and  my chocolate apple pie
And no doubt my big belly will turn me into a grouch
As I sit here and eat content upon my couch

Yes I sit here eating sealing my certain doom
While I should be out and playing I’m in my living room
I should be out and running or playing with a bat
Instead of sitting here and getting really fat

So take a fool’s advice heed my greatest fear 
For I know if I keep this up I won’t have many years
I’ll be like most potatoes then whenever they are found
I’ll be a couch potato buried beneath the ground

And should they dig me up I’ll be a terrible sight
And certainly something that would spoil your appetite
And certainly something that would spoil your appetite
Surely something to spoil your appetite

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A Modest Proposal

A Modest Proposal
By Roy Merritt

Doctor Swift wrote it anonymously
His delicate modest proposal
His idea to save the poor Irish 
Was to make their children disposal

He was lampooning Petty and Bacon
Quite popular upon that year
Their notions of how society be taken
And socially engineered

He wrote of the poor Irish  
How they going to waste
And how a child of just one year 
Might appeal to one’s taste

They could be roasted, stewed,
Or boiled long in a pot you see
To be sliced into ragout
And made delicious as fricassee 

So let no man talk of expedients 
Of taxes on landlords absentee
Let no man talk of new taxes 
Or leveling them at me

No clothing do they need
Or furniture to sit astride
Not one penny for luxury
Or vain human pride  

It would cure much idleness
Keep women safe and pure  
Parsimony and patriotism 
The only way to endure

Prudence and temperance 
And love of one’s native sand
Was how they should differ
From the Laps in Lapland

And thus the small children
Could prove a fine subject
Not be bemoaned as a burden
But a benefit to the public

You might would put on weight
If the child is particularly sweet
And I don’t doubt be easy to chew
So tender would be their meat

I don’t doubt either as times 
get worse in this nation
That some bloody right wing fool 
Bring Swift into the conversation

Instead of depending on food stamps
When little food you got
Just reach over into that crib
And throw the kid into the pot
Just reach over into that crib
And throw your kid into the pot

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That Suicide

THAT SUICIDE
By Roy A. Merritt

If I could only defy this pain
Perhaps I wouldn't feel so inane
Perhaps I wouldn't ponder so
All this pain that strikes me low

And maybe I could drive away
This voice that demands of me each day
Take the chance strike you fool
You're only drowning in this pool

In this pool of miserable grief
That''ll never leave you give relief 
There is no hell you fool you see
No heaven or hell no eternity

No God or Satan as they propose
Just this misery that grows and grows
Grows like the monster who does conspire
To bring you low and dwell in fire

The fire that burns within your soul
Though burning harsh it leaves you cold
No more do you wish to reside
You only want that suicide

That suicide a beauty's appeal
That begs of you, you to kill
No thought of those you'd leave behind
To explain it all your long decline

They you know at least you guess
Would only howl and loud protest
Please dear one break this chain
That bounds you up with constant pain

We couldn't stand it we couldn't abide
If you should commit this suicide
But I don't listen and quick depart
To drive this blade within my heart

And as I watch my life retreat
I greet this death, this death so sweet
And once I go and meet my end
Only a number to pencil in

One more fool that couldn't hide
From that pain that suicide

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The Malevolent Golden Horde

THE MALEVOLENT GOLDEN HORDE
By Roy Merritt

They rode out over the Asian steppes their ponies hooves flashing
Their arrows taking wing their blades brutally slashing
A river of blood they left in their horrid wake
Their victims cursing their gods for those they did forsake
They went along the Urals and further moving west
And all who opposed them these monsters did suppress
On to the Danube they rode this murderous eastern tribe	
And rested their haggard steeds and these waters did imbibe
And others went to the east into the Siberian cold
To conquer all before them their terror to behold
They rode in the name of Batu the grandson of Genghis Khan
And ruled these lands for a century and even years beyond
And yet they were destined in these lands near and far
Rebellion was their plight in the days of the Tartar
And now they are but a faint memory their infamy long ignored
But history shan't forget them The Malevolent Golden Horde.

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Here's To Charles Martel

HERE'S TO CHARLES MARTEL
By Roy Merritt

Here's to Charles Martel he's a hero after all 
He kept Europe safe for Christians 
When the Muslims invaded Gaul
He beat them at the Battle of Tours 
And forced them back to Spain
And made them wish they'd never done that 
Adding to the Hammer's fame
He was the illegitimate son of Pepin 
Yet became the Duke of the Franks
And for the fact he saved their nation 
These people gave him thanks
He was the patron of Boniface 
And founded the Middle Age
And as his glory lo advanced 
He became all the rage
He could have been the Consul of Rome 
Protector of the Holy See
But he refused that great good honor 
It was Gaul where he wanted to be
And yet one time he had to flee 
At the Battle of Cologne
He didn't have enough warriors 
So the ground the Frisans owned
And off he went to the Eifel Mountains 
To plan his battle anew 
And set upon Rabod at Malmedy 
And Rabod you know was through
He defeated many others as well 
From Odo to that man in Aquitaine
But probably his greatest legacy 
Was being the granddad
Of the magnificent Charlemagne
So here's to the Hammer 
The ruthless Mister Martel 
Who says the French won't fight 
This Frenchman gave 'em hell
This Frenchman was heroic
A story they often now still tell

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By Then It Be To Late

By Then It Be To Late
By Roy Merritt

I suppose it isn’t just people subject to intoxication 
If your citizens all taking toxins apt be your nation 
How eager a man be to martyr himself for a fool 
How easy he lose his morals how easy he be cruel
It could never happen here that’s what I read 
At least that’s what the title of Lewis’s book said 
But indeed it did a huckster came to power
And led the nation from its principals turned them bitter, sour
H. L. Mencken said it best his words befitting of the times
His opinion of the common man how Mencken him defined
Democracy but a theory the common know his desire
And deserve it good and hard and never to retire
For no man ever went broke that underestimate 
The taste of the average man his wont of crude debate
And though full of Puritan lust a fear haunts him long
That some be enjoying his life, family, love and home
Of course they not his words I merely paraphrase
But I think Mencken excuse me if he about these days
Give me some courtesy the benefit of the doubt
I essentially said the same thing he was on about 
So lets see what we’ve got after four years of deception
Whether we sober up and develop some true perception
Whether we like many nations recent, in the past
And succumbed to tyranny fall victim to bombast
Many in times of pain when in depths of despair
Will fall for a fool's words and follow him anywhere  
Will follow everywhere follow him to their doom
Will follow a lunatic who promise to end their gloom
They’ll follow him down the road follow to the abyss
And none along the way realize something be amiss
We love our leader they declare as poison they imbibe 
And drink they will like Socrates the potion of suicide
Oh this hemlock simply fine it does me persuade
And I’ll enjoy every drop of it even unto the grave
But once beneath the ground and he has sealed his fate
He has no chance to recover his senses by then it be to late

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A Dog's Life

A Dog's Life
By Roy Merritt

He likes to pee on trees and smell his neighbor's ***
He likes to chase balls and roll 'round in the grass
And sometimes fight with others and have to run away
And still think tomorrow he'll maybe win the day

And not have his chums think what he did before
Makes him a yeller dog and someone to abhor
He likes to eat his food from anywhere and a bowl
He likes to chase cats and run them down a hole

And if he lives to be twenty he'll feel really old for sure
And you know for certain that he won't long endure
For one year to a man is seven for a hound
And if he reaches twenty he's lucky to still be around

He's lucky to be around and maybe still have his teeth
Twenty years long to him but to humans very brief
So though you may feel tough, alert and on your guard
Your arthritic dog is laying about the yard 

He lays about the yard his eyes reflect despair
Like an elderly person rocking in their chair
Rocking in their chair nostalgic for their youth
Both wishing they weren't so very long in tooth

They wish they were young again young and full of zest
Back to that time when they felt their very best
Back to that time when enjoying the days that pass
Wondering if this the one this day to be his last

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This Climate Change

This Climate Change
By Roy Merritt

Winter’s shroud arrives earlier each year
Mountains of beauty to inspire and revere
Beauty yes, but wanton, exceedingly cruel 
A beautiful veil, pale, and deceiving the fool
Its voice whispers and howls, frigid its breath
Encroaching upon all to some bringing death
Ever colder it be ever menacing its face
Ever astounding to us who dwell in this place
And old timers and others with memories of when
Are challenged to remember it ever being like then 
How can it be says the fool expressing but scorn 
How can it be the globe increasingly warm   
How can it be different from long ago in the past
How can it be this and leave us aghast 
Winter is often a time of dread and despair 
But eventually moves on as we make to repair
Ah, but when considering so confounding a thing 
Time soars to summer having forgotten the spring
And summer you know not thoughtful or kind
As it torments with heat as the sun doth shine  
Days pass on causing distress much pain 
The sun boils down no clouds bring rain
The drought overwhelms causing concern
For we know there be much kindling and easy to burn
And those among us the sensible and wise
Know something is amiss in time realized
We must do something take heed and converse
Arrive at some conclusion this condition reverse
We must rebuke deniers call them deranged
Who dare say it false this climate change
Is avarice such that it would blind you to truth
So merciless and potent to doom your own youth
To make their future on such an earth
An existence void of comfort and little of worth
If so I must tell you I find it quite strange
That you dare say it false this climate change 
And know this for certain when such is their pain
Forever their lips will be cursing your name
No monuments to you will they ever arrange
For your insistent denial of climate change
Your legacy of infamy will never unwind
Your names be cursed forever in time
They will assail you and say you deranged
For saying it was false this climate change