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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
This is it, the final step before crossing the line and I’m not sure I want to stop. What happens when I cross the line, the end? The end of all he and I share but what do we share besides pain and arguments; we share absolutely nothing. Maybe we have a few moments in time that we both believe that we wouldn't go back and change anything and then reality hits, I love him but I can see it, it being all the arguments that are to come. He will grow to hate me for asking him to quit school and even though I never actually asked, we both know that’s what I wanted.
Honestly, I am not sure of what is better anymore, if we should just move on and act as if we never happened, waste our time we spent together and start a new; or simply push our regret and anger into the back of our minds until we blow up repeatedly acting as if it were just spit of insanity. I am nothing more than his wife, not bound by anything more than a small piece of paper and some empty words. I wouldn't blame him for hating me; I could hardly even be upset. Life has tossed up a curve ball and we drop it every time. Neither of us exactly sure of what the other wants, I understand in instances that the first year of marriage is supposedly the hardest, you push and pull and see how much you can get away with; but we just push and push each other away and get nothing out of it. Maybe it was never love after all maybe we both will just wake up and it will all just be a dream, and maybe I am just another house wife realizing my marriage isn't as good as I thought it would be.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
Memories consume me, repeatedly in my head.
Every step we took together rewinds.
How he was so cautious with everything he said.
How reserved he was in life, and when the talk of marriage came
I could see him lose his mind. The more we spoke about it the more he gave in
Until I saw a victory soon closing in. now he barely looks at me if he awakes at all we are
two strangers to share the same bed and trapped by the same walls.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
I question everything he tells me from the moment it slips out of his mouth, if it sounds honest or forced. My life is simple and that’s not why I question it. I am okay with having a little but not or type. We have a little patience and too little time together. Thought we practically spend almost every second together we could never be more apart. As I think about it more and more it seems to hurt me less, how he always says he wants to leave when we argue and all that comes to mind is that I don’t want to be married again. Not because of how I feel about him but how much time I put into this relationship, it cuts me to my core to have that realization. When we were dating I could never let him leave me because how intimate we had become. Love was not the equation, love was never the answer, and love was the excuse.
I am not sure if he loves me or just seems to hang around because he feels guilty, guilty for stringing me along for such time. Maybe both but I no longer see the man he was, I see depression and hate pointed toward me. I hate divorce, not because it destroys families but because you stand before you friends and family and you pledge to love someone who in turn makes you look foolish once the papers are filed. I am not unhappy as of now, and that’s not why I am writing this, it’s nothing more than I have come to terms with my stupidity.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
What part of marriage do you simply not understand, what part of what’s mine is yours and yours is mine is like putting a hammer in your hands. I finally understand what people mean when they say “you ruined everything.” That no matter what you say I will truly never look at us the same. That eve though nothing was perfect, I enjoyed our little fumbles and mess ups but now everything I seen in your eyes has died away and turned to dust. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust our marriage should end because there is no trust.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
You know what I write, you know whats on my mind, so if I ever mattered how do you sleep at night. knowing that everything you say is a lie; though I never call you out. You don't apologize or even try to make it right. Where lies the man in you because he isn't in my view. You didn't realize being someone else was harder than it seemed, I asked you to you be you and you didn't even try to get to know me. You got lost along the way, so where's you pride and why did you break your promise? we were two and now we have both turned into none; and to think I thought you were the one.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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Mrs. Anonymous Poem
Music lingers in my head, memories have all but gone, my thoughts telling me that you don't belong. My lover, my friend, my husband, you are lost in your lies. I'm aware of what you've done, no more making me pay for your mistakes, its to late to change. It's time for us to be erased no more putting me through pain.
Copyright © Mrs. Anonymous | Year Posted 2013
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