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Ursula Black Poem
mama how do i tell you its bad again
how the voices are telling me its okay to hurt
they want me to fall
to fall from the top of buildings
and not get up
but don't worry mama
i plan to shut them up
mama how do i explain how the pain has returned
all you wanted was me to be better
i tried and tried and tried and tried
but in the end, the crazy won
they drive me crazy to no end
i want to make it stop
but don't worry mama
i have a plan
mama i cant tell you how it feels
to be sunken to the depths of earth
angels are soaring above me
but their happy gazes hurt
i need this incessant chatter to go
to hurt me, to hate me
it all feels so real
but don't worry mama
it wont soon
mama i can see the look in your eyes
it hurts me too that this is goodbye
cant you see this is the only way
for the voices to vanish but my body stay
goodbye and farewell
ill miss you so much
but don't cry mama
ill be better now
Copyright © Ursula Black | Year Posted 2013
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Ursula Black Poem
Time.
A challenge all of mankind faces, but yet I feel so alone.
How am I supposed to deal with this?
Is there a book written that tells me how I can face the omnipresent calendar, who judges my character when I fail to meet his deadlines?
Because when I slow down I have to remember.
The world doesn't stop with me.
It continues.
Seasons and people change and go.
They don't wait for me.
I am moving forward, trying to evolve into a butterfly.
But to this fat caterpillar, it seems impossible.
The world never stops.
It doesn't give me a chance to breathe.
A chance to worry about the person I'm becoming.
A chance to change my ways and realize what lies ahead.
A chance to look up into the skies above.
Above me, what is above me?
Is there a god, mocking me, preventing my transformation?
Or is there a glass faced clock, ticking slowly, begging me to bide my time.
Copyright © Ursula Black | Year Posted 2013
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Ursula Black Poem
to those of you have left scars on my heart that i felt the need to have them reflected on my skin
if it wasn't for you, i would have grown up normal, how boring
i would have had friends that lasted for more than a year
and i would probably be happy
but where's the fun in that?
you see, because of you I realized how awful i was. i decided not to be awful anymore and set out to fix myself, make myself more likable
if others liked me, maybe i could like myself
but no. no one will like me, the chameleon
i can switch from quiet to loud in 4 seconds
what an amazing talent, right?
why be myself when i can constantly mold myself to others likings, so they don't hate me
im incredibly lucky to have had the privilege of my life destroyed by you, without you even knowing
you can make your jokes, you can tell your white lies
you can even try to apologize but its too late
the damage is done, left permanently in scars
Copyright © Ursula Black | Year Posted 2013
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Ursula Black Poem
i want to be angry
at him, at her, at the world
i want to be happy
for him, for her, for the world
i want to scream
at him, at her, at the world
and yet nobody likes me
not him, because of her, she's his world
Copyright © Ursula Black | Year Posted 2013
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