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Joel Arfin Poem
Lonely as ever, yet alone, he is never.
Spending every waking hour surrounded by superficialism,
Never reaching the true feeling of existentialism,
But always fringing on the edge of self-absortion in the feelings of regret,
Recognizing the emotional imbalance,
Clearly caused by inabilities;
Over-empathetic
Under-motivated
Underappreciated to a point of hopeless painful feelings of invisibility
Meant only to transcend into the inevitable devotion,
An unjust loyalty to an emotional tsunami,
The wave of feelings crashing into a wall of inner-neglection,
Leading to the ultimate display of True Knowledge,
Masked by the veil of lies and dangerous philosophies,
Under which the dark sorrow within lurks,
Waiting for one to stray too close,
Waiting for one like me.
Copyright © Joel Arfin | Year Posted 2013
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Joel Arfin Poem
Forcing his way through a ocean of iniquity and negligence,
As malfeasances and misconducts concoct a deadly storm of uncertainty,
Demons and guilt torment him,
Obstructions and obstacles challenge him,
Misfortune and tragedy overwhelm him,
As he is subconsciously enveloped by an emotional numb,
Standing alone, even as he is surrounded by those he loves,
He a feels shiver-inducing tingle shave his spine,
Severing the last of his connection from the outside world.
Crying himself to sleep every night;
Without pain,
Without sadness,
Without anger,
The numb killing his soul,
Obliterating emotion,
Annihilating self-worth,
Disconnecting into a world of fog,
Where one is never truly awake, but can not find peace in sleep,
The sorrow from solitude forces him out,
The depression from being invisible pushes him back in to confinement,
Anxiety and instability crushing ambition and inspiration,
The silk of motivation, which once rich and lustrous,
Is now tattered and broken,
Once a man, a human,
Now the broken shell of a person, without purpose,
Lacking axiom,
Integrity, broken,
Living a facade,
Wearing a smile, but dead behind the eyes,
Drifting from reality, leaving behind the body and mind,
A soul, free from the trials and constraints,
Without consequence,
Without regret,
He will no longer be forced to suffer through the melancholy that eradicated his life,
He will never again succumb to the desolation of his depression,
Never again, will he have the chance to create,
Never again, will he have the chance to inspire,
Never again, will he have the chance to love.
Never again, will he wonder if he is deceased, dreaming or alive.
He is now more alive than ever,
He is now in a state of eternal dreaming.
Copyright © Joel Arfin | Year Posted 2013
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Joel Arfin Poem
A dark light, in a sea of bright,
Uncertainty,
Certainly,
Inconsistently inclined against the norm,
Forcing light to the fringes of dark,
Making subtle advancement,
Into a land that was not.
Now feeling unstable to the point of no recognition,
To the point of discomposure,
Until thoughts employ emotion,
Until engaging one's self,
becomes equivalent to vexation,
into a world where affection is verboten,
and perception of ideology is stigmatized.
A dark light, in a sea of bright,
Certainty,
Certainly, the dark will burn out,
And light will shine bright,
As the nebulous depressive state,
Of which he stands,
Will be entirely cast over,
By a portrayal of faith,
By a true belief,
By the optimism of one,
As a euphoric ecstasy takes all control,
Leaving optimism to combat doubt,
And pessimism to absolve confidence.
Copyright © Joel Arfin | Year Posted 2013
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Joel Arfin Poem
I feel a sense of paranoia sinking in,
Without reason, a fear that sinks deeper than the skin.
An anxiety of overwhelming power,
It grows in strength; hour after hour.
Debilitating as a morning after migraine,
The sole difference being that I feel no pain.
This melancholic strife is nothing new to me,
Living under the weight of social dystrophy.
Feeling isolated, feeling lonely, feeling hopeless.
Experiencing emotions of self-apathy and self-loathing.
A pity thought reserved for third world orphans,
Now without merit, has been cast upon mine self.
Desolate and barren,
The future renders bleak.
I've disappeared for years behind a mask of contentment,
Lacking autonomy until acceptance of this internal resentment.
It would be easier to stop. To just end it all,
But I have stayed strong to this point,
For I could never betray my soul.
Copyright © Joel Arfin | Year Posted 2013
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