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Michael Todd Poem
It begins with prayer
as I kneel
in my morning shower,
first thanking God
for all the blessings
He has given to me,
then I start
listing those
dear to me.
I think of you,
how much I love you,
and your needs,
I ask for strength and healing,
ask for forgiveness
if I have done anything
to hurt you
and tell God
how I need you.
It’s then that
the tears start to flow
as I let Him know
how very important
you are to me,
why I feel helpless many times
and am unable to help you.
As I try to speak,
my tears are coming down
like the water
in the shower,
soon I can’t even
see or speak.
All I am now
is a crying man,
wanting God to help me,
to help you, to heal you,
to show me how
to be your strong Knight,
instead of someone
just full of tears.
Even if He allows us to stay together
sometime in the future,
I know at times
I will be nothing
but a crying man.
Crying tears of Joy
when you are here,
crying tears of Woe
when you are not.
As you have been here recently
I am doing both right now
and love you too much
to ever stop completely.
My Lady Susan,
this Knight is forever yours
and will never leave your side…
may God continue
to have mercy on us both.
2010
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
I ache everywhere
if you’re not here
whether you are far away
or a mile away,
when I can’t see you
and touch you,
I ache.
My spirit aches
as it tries to feel
what you feel
and wants to bear the burdens
that you bear.
My mind aches
from so many shared thoughts
and too many alone thoughts,
wanting you to know how much
I think of you.
My body aches
from its constant desires
to be next to yours,
to touch your skin,
to hear your voice,
to smell you and taste you,
to see your beauty
and experience all of you.
You are the only cure
for these aches I have,
some for thirty years,
others for thirty days.
I truly hope
that I am allowed
to cure some of your aches also
and may the good Lord
heal you completely
in His own way and time.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
During all Holiday seasons,
let's embrace life for many reasons.
For those with a newborn,
let them appreciate its cry each morn.
For the many who have lost a spouse,
allow your family and friends to fill your house.
For couples about to put on rings,
may they appreciate all that their new life brings.
For some who have spent a long time walking as one,
may they remember this holiday how life with their mate was begun.
For those who live with emotions that run wild,
may their thoughts become calmer, gentler and mild.
And those who daily deal with physical pains,
may relief be found and healing make new gains.
Whether you're a new two, middle aged loners or old time pairs,
all your lives have a plan if you can avoid all the snares.
In hopes you have strong faith, either from on high or in another,
may you live this holiday fully and cherish each other.
Merry Christmas to all!
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2014
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Michael Todd Poem
For twelve passing’s
of the seasons
the name Susan
has held special meaning
for me.
Between now
and forever
whenever I hear your name
it will bring back
many different memories –
of days
of closeness
when we shared deeply
our thoughts
in order to help comfort each other,
of nights
of coldness
where we lay
in our separate solitudes
like a modern day Romeo and Juliet.
I know this love
I have for you is eternal
and even if it’s not fulfilled in this life
it has been real in some Past life
and will be lived again in a Future one.
I also know
if your friendship with me is over
by end of summer
it won’t hurt me anymore because
I’ll care for you just as much even then.
7/7/87
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
The end of us breaks open both old and new cracks in my heart.
How come I couldn't see where my blind love would lead us,
Ending it again, you have, before our love could fully grow.
In the many, many years since I first fell in love with you,
Never did I think we'd find our love and then lose it.
Vanishing appears the only option left to me now,
Incredible loneliness once again my friend.
Surely God didn't intend our splitting?
Inside my heart you are big as ever.
But, I am a silly old romantic,
Long ago laden with love,
Ever waiting only for you.
Madness to love you?
About to find out.
Now I fade away.
Invisible...
Am I,
Me.
Going
Off
Now,
End.
10/06/12
Gone: breathless, cold, deceased, dead, departed, done, fallen, lifeless, lost, obsolete, vanished.
Invisible: concealed, discreet, hidden, inconspicuous, unnoticeable, unseen.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2012
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Michael Todd Poem
Without warning
or message
from willow tree
whippoorwills
I awake with
that quiet ache,
such a deep burn
from a much too long desire
for you.
A breathing dream
which becomes
a slow unfulfilled agony
as I wait for you.
A beneath the bone
need to be
skin to skin,
tongue on tongue,
one in one
for a lifetime, maybe two.
I wonder if during
my five o’clock
reminders of aloneness
whether you’ve similar
pains of the heart,
whether you experience
that quiet ache
in the silent centuries of solitude
between the beat of one heart
and the lovely beatings of two.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
The call comes in,
the bell clangs
and off I go
to try and rescue you
from people and things
in your life
that are hurting you
and setting your emotions
on fire again.
The flames roar
as I break through one door
after another
with only have the water
from my tears
to use against tonight's fire
and it's not enough.
My emotions are also
becoming scorched,
so I pray more
and cry more
but, it doesn't
seem to help.
And I hear
your voice
while I race about
trying to find
what room
you are trapped in.
You're screaming
"get me out of here!"
as I knock down
door after door.
I yell back to you,
"I'm here, follow my voice!"
By now your life
is really on fire
and I'm crying more tears
trying to put out the flames.
And I scream
at our God,
"Why are you doing this!?"
Then I stop
and look
for some signs of you,
hoping you've heard me
or God has shown you
the way to safety.
And I see one room
then another crumble
to the ground,
and pray
you're not in them
then I start to feel the burns
on my face and hands.
If you don't
hear me soon
or can't get out
on your own
then this firefighter
has failed you again.
And this nightmarish dream
that has become all too real
may be replayed over and over.
Only God knows
whether we'll survive
these flames
or if we'll take too long
to get out together in time.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
With just 36 miles to go
the silence became deafening,
the afternoon dragging on into
the everlasting evening
until your call.
With just 36 miles to go
how could I worry so much,
but, I did my dear, I did
and I thank you so
for your call.
When you've only 36 miles left to get home
I'll soon be able to thank you in person
for your voice,
your life
and your love.
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36 minutes to show
again how I love you,
again how much you love me
and how we’re made for each other.
36 minutes to show
our love has stood the test of time,
our lives together mean so much more
and our future is brighter than before.
36 minutes to show
my appreciation of you,
my need to be part of you
and your desire to be one with me.
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Just 36 hours ago
we were as close as two can get,
were as loving as two can be
and were as caring as two can show.
Just 36 hours ago
we held each other,
held our breath
and held time still for a while.
Just 36 hours ago
we lived as life should be lived,
loved as two lives should love
and learned just how far we've come.
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36 years ago
when we were young
and our love was only a tender bud,
how were we to know God would still allow it to grow.
36 years ago
I felt love for the first time,
my heart broke for the first time,
now is our love renewed and my heart mended.
36 years ago
life hit hard and I kept on going,
loneliness was my new friend,
would I have done different knowing it wasn’t our end?
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
FALL -
Getting colder
with winds picking up
and leaves swirling
around us,
we stride
hand in hand
or arm in arm
if the gusts are high enough.
Walking together
after the dusk of Summer fades
and the dawn of Fall lightens up,
we're heading
nowhere in particular,
just enjoying the outdoor sights
with new insights on how much
we love each other
and thinking of ways to keep warm later
on this Fall day that will become night.
WINTER -
Brisk winds and dark gray
with no Sun just clouds
on this Winter day
in which we've picked up the pace
to help stay warm,
still arm in arm
for another outside appreciation
of God's creation
and the ability He gave us to walk.
Walking together
means we're not alone,
not in body, mind or soul.
We stroll along familiar places
seeing some down right chilly faces,
our own being colder than we'd like.
But, the cold gives us an excuse
to down hot chocolate
then dive under the covers
and learn how to thaw Eskimo pies
by interlocking our thighs.
Our hearts light the Winter night
and melt us down like candle wax,
but, by the next morning's light
we're still here, warm and just as bright.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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Michael Todd Poem
Where the road ends
can be a place
where hearts meet
and love begins again.
That's certainly
true of us
as unspoken feelings
are now loud emotions.
And the limitations in our lives
disappear
for the brief times
when we are near.
We never knew
another chance to share
would be ours one day
but we're here and sharing.
What we feel
is very real
and I am glad to know
our love got its chance to grow.
At the end of our road
in the middle of our lives
with our past behind us
is the future for both of our hearts.
Copyright © Michael Todd | Year Posted 2011
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