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Bella Mehrer Poem
I walk into a room
Leave the chair empty on purpose
It's not broken like you'd assume
Just not where I want to be
I know you walk these halls
Every Tuesday after gym
I would never ignore your calls
But you hit that button with routine
I lower my eyes like I'd dim a lamp
Not to hide but to reduce
His eyes hurt like a cramp
Don't think guys would ever understand
His name settles like dust
Somehow everywhere all of the time
Slowly consuming me like rust
Someday we have to acknowledge it's there
In this hallway the footsteps soften themselves
Shoes learn not to announce their presence
Like dusty books never taken off the shelves
We know we are unwanted here
Memories folded in my jeans back pocket
The jeans you said matched yours
I won't throw them away, I'll forget it
Well until I hear the crinkle when I sit in that chair
The smell of rain that doesn't quite reach me
But I know it's falling somewhere else
That's all that matters, I'll let it be
I miss the cold sharp pain of rain drenching me head to toe
A glance that stops halfway
Like a sentence that knows better than to finish itself
And I stopped telling myself "one day"
Because that last word was never mine to hear
I use silence like punctuation
Some may say it's dramatic
But that's the intonation
Not dramatic, just correct
That chair is in someone's else's favorite spot
I hope it knows that too
She'll be the last car in the parking lot
But I drive the car that may never leave
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
Cold black coffee
This poetic room
Green eyes slightly glossy
You know you aren't immune
Wind chimes speaking
You convince yourself you understand
A home you don't feel like critiquing
Because for once it is quiet and you still feel your headband
The headband you took off on Wednesday
Every line gets longer as your mind works too fast
You write down the messy thoughts convinced they are okay
You lost the bad thoughts, for your mind is too vast
I'd admit I don't write these, my poems aren't real
I can't tell if that's true
I see and I think, then I write and I feel
But I can't rhyme and I wish that you knew
I think I am nauseous
Stomach half full of this cold decaf coffee
Wish I knew cool stuff like how a pumpkin is monoecious
These words I don't know, can my body be wishy-washy
Book cover bent like it looks up at God
I can't know what it's begging
Maybe it can sense that I'm a fraud
I don't like reading and maybe that's upsetting
How come book covers tell a better story than my face
Don't judge by it's cover but they have and they will
Existential thoughts, I don't think I'm meant for this place
Perhaps what we call life is a side effect of some pill
Poem stanzas get too long
The more I think, the more I think
No, the repetition is not wrong
When there's dust in your eyes, two times you will blink
My body itches inside out
The silence is now ringing
Is it crickets, maybe cicadas, sanity I doubt
Can my minds music still be singing
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
They have a child-like glow
Some so foreign you question, "is this real"
Floating past in a pattern, like a show
Disregarding you completely, what is their deal?
If you hold on too tight
They inflict a painful sting
But you always want to go toward the light
I can't let it go, we're attached by a string
Death isn't part of their story
They never quite leave your side
Just let me be
Coming and going just like the tide
Memories are Jellyfish
Deep in this sea called my mind
Don't try to dodge, trust me, they never miss
I don't know how to find
Find a way to make them stop
Stinging until I can't feel
I can feel my body go limp then drop
Into a sea of jellyfish, only this time it's real
My senses get lost in a sea, so sickening, cold
Shivers slowly climb up my back
You can try to hug me but there is nothing to hold
How can something so oddly human be what I lack
This strong pulsing light
I can't think, I can't breathe
Water so deep in my lungs it's too late to fight
Stop grasping so tightly to my sleeve
Religion or law when stuck in this sea
How come my God put me in this abyss
Their lives are all perfect but I am just me
Memories are like jellyfish
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
I think my problem is that to me love hasn't a definition
Love is a moment, a future, a scene
There is not one condition
Love isn't even always a human being
The door with white cracked paint squeaking
Door handle cold to the touch
Splintered wood floors creaking
A simple farmhouse yet there isn't much
Placing a new leather bible up on the fireplace
Next to the jar of wilted petals
Carefully placed on my grandmother's lace
Memories that don't sting like nettles
A slightly scratched record mumbles "Burn, Burn, Burn" by Zach Bryan
A candle burned down to the end of the wick dances back
Smoke graceful, looks like an angel flying
Staining the white ceiling, distracting from each little crack
My love comes back, boots wet from the morning grass
Still smelling like smoke and hay
Pouring whiskey into his favorite glass
A swinging bench lingering each morning we pray
Homemade bread in the oven, the scent weighing down this tiny home
The "just because" flowers catching morning sun
Hand made towels hanging on each handle, each carefully sewn
This house carries the scent of every loved one
The dog catching butterflies right outside these doors
Like how I hopefully caught loves eye
The grass as green as mine, whiskey warm as yours
A touch that doesn't send shivers down my spine, I don't have to ask why
Swing dancing in the rain
Laughing in the living room
Frolicking in the sun with this energy you just can't drain
Smelling the field of irises in full bloom
Love is the simple things
The things that just are beautiful without having to try
Love isn't something that stab and stings
It should hold you when you cry
Love is not desiring more than what already is
Love is what God gave us, it is everything we have seen
These lives are ours and we are his
First John, chapter four verse nineteen
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
Wrapped around both my lung
There's an empty space for someone's arms
To pull me into the most loving hug
Gentle and Safe, the kind that makes you warm
I wish you would notice the necklace I wear
Glinting like a heartbeat in the sun
I never take it off, I swear
It's from my great grandma, miss her a ton
There is a barrier, I'm locked in a room
Laughter surrounds me but never reaches
I desire it but can never consume
It rings in my ears like siren screeches
Somehow silence feels heavier
When you wish it would just say your name
People say it gets easier
But I don't think the weight is the same
I press my silver cross where your eyes should have been
Did you even notice I noticed you wear that shirt every Thursday
If I stopped caring this much it would feel like a sin
You ignore every detail while I watch that shirt fray
That girl with blonde hair, her perfume lingers like betrayal
The smell aches in my chest
It leaves this permanent trail
It lands on her blouse but where is the rest
Your breath fogs up a window no one looks into
You draw a messy heart to replace the one missing
Only this one doesn't beat, to be fair only few do
As the fog fades it's like the cold and dew are kissing
The streetlights pool on each sidewalk
Yet every bit of gold misses me by inches
The buzzing draws you in like a stop sign says stop
Every heavy step wakes you up like someones pinches
The puddles catch me in half light
Like proof I exist, but barely
When did your own existence become the most haunting sight
I miss when I felt I was flying like a fairy
Now I just fall as slow as a feather
Yet the weight could crush ships in the sea
Crashing down like waves in harsh weather
I can't even explain what I perceive
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
Driving down a one way road
Every second not lived piles behind
Left on the worn pavement
Almost as if I've been here before
Can't turn around
Stuck watching every lost moment
Losing so much so consistently
It looks like you aren't moving at all
Road so coated in fog
All I know is what already passed
I know what I left behind
Unsure what is ahead of me
If I drive this road again
What's currently behind will be my path
I will finally know what's in front of me
Watching it disappear in the rear window feels safe
We don't know our future
Unless we keep repeating our past
I didn't know this road had an exit
Saw only the back of every sign
The car didn't choose the road it drove
So why do I blame every missed exit
Why don't I just open the door
And walk my own life alone
The car never knew I wanted out
It never knew I beat myself on every missed turn
So why should it know where I needed to go
Maybe the car was never the one lost
I was
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
I used to be a poet
Topics I knew nothing of
Got so slow it
hurt, I once wrote about love
Love was never a guy
And I know you want me to say
"Oh because love was I"
But I was an ashtray
Where love ends up
After it burned a flame so bright
You could put it out in a cup
But unlike water, I never did fight
Light airy ash piling up
Like the abandoned thought of me
The addiction is never enough
Yet smoke you can never see
My glow slowly crushed
Before I could fully dissappear
Your skin is so flushed
Keep her far but I'm always here
A cough won't make me leave
Lingering in your breath
Somebow even I can't breathe
Corrosion until death
I sit in this place
Things are finished not started
Adrenaline of a high speed chase
His breathe and his voice slowly departed
It's like chasing smoke
You can't catch what's not there
Don't forgive me if I misspoke
You would know, this isn't supposed to be fair
Now love feels so warm
Ashtray cold, old, discarded
Craved the heat now I'm torn
Burn marks so deep I never restarted
Recover
Bring back the shiny silver tray
Oh lover
To a God you don't know, just pray
Pray until your knees fall to the ground
Pick up the cigarette I never got
Click click, the lighter, that sound
Fire the bullet you never shot
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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Bella Mehrer Poem
A cell phone tower buzzing
Like insects trapped in glass
A weight slowly crushing
My existence feels like a mass
I lift up my hands
They move half a second too late
Heavy, attached with rubber bands
It's pulling too much weight
My mirror shows a stranger
Wearing my face with a borrowed coat
A layered voice whispering "change her"
A voice is stuck in my throat
The voices playing through a wall
A wall filled with water
Now the figure in the mirror isn't me at all
I know who I am and it's not her
The bed I've layed in a thousand times
Suddenly staged like a movie set
A book perfectly placed to cover up crimes
When did my own mind become a threat
The colors are screaming one second
Then missing the next
Don't believe this is what I reckoned
My world is too complex
Memories flying past like subtitles
In a language I forgot how to read
I go to check my vitals
I can't feel myself bleed
Time's moving thick
Like honey poured too slowly
Thoughts make me sick
Death suddenly sounds so holy
This consistent hum that forgot to turn itself off
Drilling holes through my head
Following me everywhere like a smoker's cough
Are you sure I'm not already dead
I look at people around me
Part of my knows they are real
The glass is surrounding
I'm behind the glass of an aquarium where everything's tinted teal
Copyright © Bella Mehrer | Year Posted 2026
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