Details |
Piper Carnes Poem
When my mother took her final breath,
something inside me forgot how to breathe. She left this world, and I've never fully returned to it. The day her heart fell silent, mine began breaking — unendlessly, without pause. When her eyes closed for the last time, mine opened to a waking nightmare that I'm incapable of escaping from.
Living without her is not living — it is dying,
slowly, cruelly, breath-by-breath. She died once, but I die in fragments — every time I remember she's not coming back. To the world, only one soul vanished, but in losing her I lost the remaining threads between myself and living.
As she exhaled her last breath, I lost the
ability to catch mine. Her absence is not quiet — it is a scream stitched into every second, swelling louder the harder I try to turn away, until even a blasphemous silence rings so loud it becomes deafening. Though her body is gone, my soul fissured alongside hers, torn into a grief no time will ever mend.
I walk through this life hollowed. Haunted.
Not living; not dead. Just waiting for the moment I can finally follow her into the dark and come home.
(August 31st, 2025)
Copyright © Piper Carnes | Year Posted 2026
|
Details |
Piper Carnes Poem
When my mother took her final breath,
something inside me shattered — but it did not die. For a long time, I believed I had left this world with her, suspended in the moment her heart fell silent. The day her eyes closed, mine opened to a grief so vast it swallowed light whole. I carried her absence like a wound that refused to close, a sorrow echoing through every breath I struggled to take.
But healing is a strange and sacred thing.
It does not erase the breaking; it teaches you how to survive it.
Living without her will never feel the way living once did, because love that deep leaves fingerprints on the soul. I still ache when I remember she is not coming back. I still reach for her in moments where the world feels too heavy to hold alone. But I no longer mistake grief for death. I understand now that losing her did not end me — it transformed me.
Her absence is no longer the only silence I hear.
Beneath it, there is also her laughter living in my memory, her love stitched into my spirit, her lessons moving through my hands, my voice, my becoming. The silence that once screamed now carries something softer: the undeniable proof that I was loved deeply enough to grieve deeply.
Though her body is gone, her existence did not vanish.
She survives in every part of me that chose to keep breathing when I thought I could not. The soul that fissured beside hers slowly learned that broken things are still capable of holding light.
I walk through this life changed, not hollow.
Scarred, but still alive. Haunted at times, yes — but also held. And instead of waiting to follow her into the dark, I carry her forward with me into every dawn I once believed I would never survive.
(May 21st, 2026)
Copyright © Piper Carnes | Year Posted 2026
|