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Xian Martinez Poem
evil lurks in you like the shadows of an unwanted soul
you smell of spilled blood and rotting milk
you take what you can and take what you cant
the world doesn't bow down to you
unless you kiss its feet first.
you are unkind, unforgiving, and unfaithful
yet you cry tears of a make believe river
you fill your life with sob stories and heartache
hoping someone will be your hero.
you aren't nice, or trust worthy,
you are the opposite. sometimes i think its me.
sometimes people say its me.
you have been filling their heads with
fantasy stories and your the victim.
but who are they going to believe when
i tell them truth.
you spin lies like a spider on a web, you show no
worry about your child, but what if your child is dead.
you show true delusions of make believe in your head.
you have no fear when going to bed.
ill tell you this and i hope you sleep well
trust and believe me when i say I'm coming from hell.
I'm coming for you till death do we part. maybe I'm angry, insane
but I'm smart. my mother didn't raise no fool, or coward that will drool to your every word.
please sleep well with all the things you have heard. never believe the echoes so they haunt you at night. ill be waiting in your closet come midnight, ready to fight and slash and swing until day light. however long it takes ill be sure to put you in my place. take my shoes and walk a mile. you wont make it to the corner. your feet will bleed and bend and break. you will disappear without a trace, thanks for all you have done, leaving us in the gutter. your child cry's for her mother, but the mother is rotten, mother is no more.
mother is gone. we can sleep well. and wake up happy. for all the people who are delusional like mother. I'm coming for you next, grandmother, cousin, uncle, brother. sleep well all, hell comes soon.
who are they going to believe when i show them the evidence.
maybe its me, maybe I'm going crazy or maybe I'm insane.
I'd rather be insane then live another lifeless life with you.
Copyright © xian martinez | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Xian Martinez Poem
i can taste her on your lips.
the stain from her lipstick is
infused to the fibers on your
white work shirt.
I'm guessing the color is cherry red.
the scent of her perfume
weakens my stomach,
knots my heart,
takes every hope i had
of our future and turns it into mud,
blood boiling like shower water
you washed with to scrub her touch off your body
but could never get clean enough to
lay in bed next to me.
early morning, your gone.
you say its business
but you are just putting your business in her.
you say its nothing.
men have needs.
what about my needs?
exactly nine months pass, and you have a child,
not born from my organs
but from her.
struggling to put this past me
like i did with our first unborn child,
i have no reason to stay.
i have no belief in saving our marriage.
but still, i stay.
i am lost without you.
i am lost without the person
who shattered my heart into a
million tiny pieces.
i am lost without the person who
sold me tornado lies.
i lost myself to the person who
crushed my soul one thousand times
and without a doubt will go it again.
that person is my husband.
Copyright © xian martinez | Year Posted 2024
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Details |
Xian Martinez Poem
you scream at me.
through dry wall the vibration
of your voice sends me into
a wide awake coma.
stuck between these four walls
keep closing in on me
no where to run you yell more.
my baby no born from my organs is
crying.
a few days old and he knows
the anger his father, my father, that man
shows.
desperately asking my mother to run.
at only four years old i can feel the fear
creeping up my neck
it whispers in my voice
things a child shouldn't know.
come sunrise, my mother lays awake with
sheetrock in her hair.
peeing through the crack in my door hoping
the monster is no where near.
my mother is limp and my baby's diaper is soiled.
this is not a home i cry, and cry, and cry.
this is not my home.
i can hardly wait to leave this place.
a few years older and that anger has grown,
taking shelter, waiting to rise again inside of me.
burring, holding it, deep inside of me.
its twisting and chewing at my insides
turning my into a human tornado.
my baby, my brother.
fully grown.
so joyful, so happy, so outgoing
never let the anger inside of him.
shinning his light the anger found home inside of me.
the envy in my heart is breath taking.
i wish the true owner of this anger would come back
from the dead and take
what is rightfully his.
please take this from me, i do not want it anymore.
i am not myself.
you took do much from me and this is what you leave behind.
an angry child.
i am sorry for the world to experience me.
for the first time i feel sorry for myself.
my head hangs lonely.
the violence causes silence.
in my head you are still fighting.
in my head you are dying
over and over again.
what's in your head?
peace?
calm?
you left behind an angry child.
you left behind a broken mother.
the storm you brought, sucked us into.
destroyed me.
you are not dead.
not yet.
i wish you were.
i now know evil doesn't die that easy.
Copyright © xian martinez | Year Posted 2024
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