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Shay Old Poem
"If you are blessed, with a spark,
Within your spirit and within your heart,
It is in my opinion, that it is within your obligation,
To be brought to ashes by it."
This is a quote by Charles Bukowski,
It is the exact reason people must know the ins and outs,
Of something that we do not care about.
It is why we dive deep into things we do not love,
Not yet.
A spark, is unique.
A spark, is a gift.
But, At times, our own light goes out,
And is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think,
with deep gratitude,
Of those who have lighted the flame within us.
But what is your spark?
What do you feel ignites brighter in you,
Than anybody else?
Understanding?
Love?
The 2 intertwined concepts,
one of which i struggle to grasp,
but having a spark for one,
ignites the other.
Brings understanding to its knees.
And I — I want to love without limit.
Love with the certainty of the sunrise,
Not because it’s perfect,
But because it’s inevitable.
Because it's guaranteed.
And the day where the sun no longer rises,
for you,
but not for me,
I will no longer continue to love.
Not for I am unable to give it afterdeath,
But for you are Unable to receive.
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2025
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Shay Old Poem
My veins are the schematics
My conscience the pragmatics
A nuclear weapon that’s omnifarious
Self destruct the one that’s multifarious
Many parts no two the same
Doesn’t mean I’m not painfully plain
Nothing about me is distinctive
Identical and parallel, anatomy’s instinctive
So why am I so self-destructive?
You don’t need to be quite deductive
Deduce the reason and the people pleasing
My consciousness requires easing
Rhymes makes the feelings and words coalesce
Does it really makes you digress?
Words made up of morphemes
Feelings made up of morphines
Nothing without you has meaning
It isn’t held it’s given without demeaning
My schematics look better inkless
Don’t want my veins to circulate just ingress
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
People say, when there's a will, there's a way
But this way will only lead me astray
Without you everything annoys me again
The faint sound of people I hear when my music stops
I don't want them to exist, you changed a pessimist
Your ideologies are your utensils
My existence was your stencil
I feel you reach in me, rearranging
Organizing, correcting, taking
I don't like it but if its what you want
I'll live with it in the hope that one day it will be exchanging
I'm not perfect, but I could be for you
I'm not a poet, but you're still my muse
My ink filled pages, our relationship's ambages
You sliced into me and I'm hiding the cut
It's all for you and you're so unaware
As long as you're fine you don't even care
Destroy me from inside out
Watching with blurry eyes
You were my Fomalhaut
You blurred the line of lies
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
You were something different
From the small stuff like finding images in the lines of texts
To the big stuff like needing constant care which I was happy to give
I wonder, what if you read into me as much as you did those lines?
Would you care for me as much as I did for you?
Constant reminders I was the best you had ever had
I see why it's past tense now
The rain reminds me of you
From being able to observe it while staying dry is beautiful
Being in it is only going to get you wet
I found you weathered, dripping; I was the umbrella you needed
Little did I know the strength of the weather would leave me with tears of my own
The rain fell through the gaps and still soaked you
The sleeve of my shirt, a dampened concoction of blood and tears
I imagined how it must have felt for you to bring such a cold blade so close to your skin
Maybe I'm not meant to love, just heal
I miss being there to tell you everything will be okay
Who's going to be there to comfort you when your cats are no longer?
The subtle reminder every day that it's not going to be me, the storm reconquers
At least I know you don't need to depend on me as much as you once did
Maybe you can become confident enough to where shorts, reveal what you once hid
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
Take a knife to the strings that attach me
Pull out the bridge pins, strum me with drachmae
Maybe then I'd have some worth for you to allocate
Maybe your role in the end was the devil's advocate
A Satanist, not the blatantest
Flown under my radar, the blurb of my memoir
Where will you be when I windup a wreck
Wasting away, misstepping, forgetting, hanging from the cromlech
Wailing of sirens and the echo of 5150
Following the path painted by the whiskey
Always have been a pretty little liar
Introduction to an overanalyzer
Since when did you become so starry-eyed?
Mix my chemical bonds, manipulate me with aldehyde
The stars in your eyes, perhaps sourced from the countryside?
Deactivate my neuronal tracts, just a drop of cyanide
I never thought I'd be one to commit fratricide
Only something you could manage to make glorified
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
Always wrote about everything but myself
It's difficult to be honest although ephemeral
I'm failing at everything I try because of you
I can't keep my focus when you're lingering
The back of my mind has been caged off with you inside it
Whether you stay to torment or find yourself a way out
Ethereal contemplation could float upon clouds
I'll stand and look up at you as you are my Aphrodite
It's hard to compare a person to a goddess
Try to make a deity from a heartbeat
Hide the tears falling down your face
They're like a monolith, they're always the same
Did it hurt more when you left or when I returned?
My words can cause the same damage to your mind as a blade to your skin
Do you regret what you did, but can't find a way to make it right?
If that's the case then close it, come back as you left
I loved the old you, does that mean I don't love you?
How shameful it may be, for someone who could soar the skies
I was caught by someone who does not even possess limbs
Wrap your scales around my feathers and sink your teeth deep
Hiding in the tall grass isn't where I'd expect a goddess
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
Your nails are painted pink,
but the edges are chipped,
revealing tiny slivers of skin
beneath the color.
You press your fingers to mine,
lining them up like constellations,
and ask if I think they’re ugly.
I shake my head,
because how could I?
Even in pieces,
you’re the brightest thing
I’ve ever held.
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2025
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Shay Old Poem
If I could, I would trade you my eyes
Cause you should see you with the clearness of mine
Things your tainted image couldn’t imagine you’d see
Cause I’m half the man you would be, if you were me
There’s lots of things you’ve yet to understand
But I know you could if you took my hand
Let me have a chance to show you what life can be
Take another chance and consider a life with me
Teach me more about you, I long to look into your eyes
I don’t want to be filled with anxiety or guilt
just embrace your beauty and let my heart wilt
Palpate your hand on my chest as you drift off to my heartbeat
In that moment I had no emotion to excrete
I wish I could re-live that year on repeat
Even just to experience us as a whole, complete
My soul would reach no further solace
Nothing in my world more flawless
You’re still the love of my life
Your love the supersede to my strife
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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Shay Old Poem
i will grip the last shards of you,
until the edges slice my palms.
through skin and tissue,
muscle and bone,
'till its through the other side.
when it lands on the pavement,
blood-soaked and broken,
i'll clasp my palms together,
stronger than we ever were,
and scoop up the shattered pieces.
i'll cradle them,
with that gentleness you one day forgot,
and never shown me again.
as i step over the stains in the concrete,
my lacerated flesh,
held tight to my chest,
i know.
i know that,
i'll let your memory dissect me forever,
until all that remains—
is a puddle of all i hoped we could be.
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2025
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Shay Old Poem
Hydraulic system, heart made of pistons
Every co-ordinated mechanical manoeuvre
My heart served to you on a platter, your hors d'oeuvre
I look into your eyes, a deplorable disguise
Retinas of glass, I see right through your lies
Figments of my imagination
Don't come and cause me more vexation
Circling my mind
Tormenting, suffering, sempiternal gyration
My nerve endings started with you
Now unaware to whom
Now that you're gone
I can finally take off this costume
Now isn't the time for salvation
I re-evaluate our amalgamation
Not even an antisocial personality disorder
Could sum up a source of order
Wander your favourite forest
Walk past me and get hit with my poignant odour
Uncover my carcass, I don't need a hearse
Just dump me in the Oder
Dismember me piece by piece
Put me back together however you'd like
The puzzle wont be beautiful
Something incomparable to Vandyke
Copyright © Shay Old | Year Posted 2024
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