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Best Poems Written by Woof Woofsson

Below are the all-time best Woof Woofsson poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Am I an alcoholic

I drink more than I should,
But not as much as I can,
Which in my world makes me,
A moderate man.

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The Black Fridge

We put things in the fridge,
To keep them very cold,
But some things in our fridge,
Are getting very old.

Like dear Uncle Ted,
By the loaf of bread,
He’s been there,
Since he last went to bed.

And cousin Ebenezer,
In the freezer,
He’s sadly missed,
The jolly old geezer.

And of Aunty Ann,
There’s hardly a trace,
A roasting pan’s,
A right resting place.

And if you think,
Sally was nice,
Have another serving,
Of this fine meat slice.

And as for the cat,
Don’t worry about that,
Just try on,
This funny furry hat.

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After Sunset

The soft swirling breeze,
Brings the scent of the sea,
Your goose bumps sing sadness,
Their song sung for me.

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Go Away

There’s a place for everything,
Or so they say,
Now, please find yours,
And go away.

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Coloured People

Betty was blue,
She was born that way,
Her friends said you’re funny,
But Betty said “Hey,
All of you are brown, black or pink,
?And that’s far more amusing, or so I think.”

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My missing twin

I once had a twin,
Or so I thought,
Until my mother broke the mirror,
That she’d recently bought.

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Naughty Nicola

Nicola was naughty,
She wasn’t very nice,
She bit her mother,
And ate her white mice,
But Nicola’s brothers knew,
Exactly what to do,
They took her to the woodshed,
And sawed her in two.

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Poetry to me

Is not an exhibition of erudition,
Nor a demonstration of tradition,
But a chance to play;
With words and phrases in a way,
That gives their sum a greater meaning,
Than they alone might be seeming,
And offers the reader a fresher view,
Of something that they thought they knew.

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A penguin on TV

She said she saw a penguin.
Right there on the TV,
But when I looked an albatross,
Was all that I could see.

She said she saw a walrus,
On the living room floor,
But all I saw was an elephant,
Standing at the door.

She said she saw a blunderbuss,
Aiming right at me,
But all I saw was the last thing,
That I did ever see.

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Wet verse

Rain drops on the roof,
A softly sibilant sound,
Gliding through the gutters,
As they gently go to ground.