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Stewart Simms Poem
There once was a mobster named Clyde
Called a Buick Electra his ride
Then an old man named Dom
Made a mighty pipe bomb
And Clyde died being Electrafried!
Copyright © Stewart Simms | Year Posted 2026
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Stewart Simms Poem
People say that my grass is so green
I should brag and reveal my routine
But I won’t stoop that low
Because what makes it grow
Is manure and that sounds so obscene
Copyright © Stewart Simms | Year Posted 2026
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Stewart Simms Poem
Now that this football season is o’er
And the Bulldogs are champions no more
Still give Kirby a raise
And let’s pray for the days
We’ll play ‘Bama and run up the score
Copyright © Stewart Simms | Year Posted 2026
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Stewart Simms Poem
Willie Sutton was not a “word whiz”
And you won’t find his name in “showbiz”
But his quote I prefer
Came to him while “in stir”
“I rob banks ‘cause that’s where money is!”
Copyright © Stewart Simms | Year Posted 2026
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Stewart Simms Poem
Willie Boy was a banker’s bad dream
And his name has become like a meme
He was smallish in size
And he mastered disguise
To become a bank robber supreme
Mr Sutton was not a word whiz
And you’d not hear his name in show biz
But his quote I prefer
Came to him while in stir
“I rob banks ‘cause that’s where money is”
Willie knew how to beat an alarm
But he never meant anyone harm
Though a quite charming man
Willie used a good a good plan
Said, “You can’t rob a bank with just charm.”
He was known as a gentleman’s thief
Who would try to keep robberies brief
He would not even try
If a woman would cry
But back then that was not much relief
It is said he stole two million bucks
With a charm and a method deluxe
Yes he did hold a gun
But of bullets had none
Since he knew a gun often destructs
When at last Willie walked from the slam
He would try to stay out of a jam
He recorded an ad
For a credit card fad
Saying, “ Now people know who I am”
Willie tried to obey all the laws
And abandoned his criminal cause
He consulted with banks
For which they expressed thanks
‘Cause he helped fix security flaws
All the money he earned in his day
In retirement was frittered away
He had no real net wealth
And he lost his good health
Not surprising since he went astray
Copyright © Stewart Simms | Year Posted 2026
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