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Derek Vallandingham Poem
We used to hang out every day.
I did whatever you would say.
The days you weren't there, I was blue.
you even killed my best friend too.
That didn't really matter to me.
Thought you loved me unconditionally.
With you I could run & hide,
Put all of my feelings aside.
The pain I thought you took away.
Left me with shame every day
Didn't talk to my friends anymore,
don't really even know what for.
I swore it was you I hated,
left my life so complicated.
There's nowhere to run I can speak.
You'll even haunt me in my sleep
It's psychological can't break free,
heroin you got a hold of me
I'm so disgusted & can't say no,
now I'm stuck & you won't let go.
At first I did you so I could get high
& now I need you just to get by.
You've left me with nothing else to take,
it won't be long now before I break
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
This is coming from the bottom of my heart.
Upon my release I'll have a brand new start.
Get to make up for all of my lie's.
Wasn't me I deeply apologize.
The person I was, became a person I'm not.
With my addiction, all the trouble it brought.
Mom I'm sorry, I was so weak.
Hurt you badly, now we don't even speak.
I know it must of been really sad.
What happened to the baby you once had.
With it all being harder for you than me.
Can't imagine how difficult I became to see.
You givin me money, so I could get by.
Even when you knew, was going to get high.
Doing it all, to keep me safely out of jail.
With all of that I created my own hell.
I'm very thankful to have another shot.
May stumble a bit but fall I will not.
Hope you can see all of my sincerity.
Time for me to be the man I was suppose to be.
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
Rise'n from there grave & all around
Shift in the ground, plus a horrible sound
This is what I've always feared the most
Have to be quiet, these demon's are close
Gotta get to where I'm going & get there fast
Running short on time started hauling some ass
Try to see through the fog , make my way
Heard a voice in the distance, think I heard em say
"I'm here for your life, gonna take your soul
& stuff you down in a deep dark hole
You'll never get out you won't escape
& eternity of hell that's your fate"
So my legs begin shaking then I start to pant
Trying to run faster even though I can't
Don't see where I'm at & it's really dark
Maybe I can hide but these demons are smart
Put my cards on the table playing the hand I'm dealt
Drop to my knee's to see if praying can help
"Dear heavenly father I've lived a life of sin
If I had to do it over I'd still do it again
Not pointing any finger's but I'm not to blame
It's a crazy world you would of done the same
Everything around me is all a mess
I'm so sorry if I couldn't pass your test"
Asking for another chance to make things right
Didn't seem to work so I must stand & fight
Getting caught off guard & they grab a hold
Legs get twisted & my body get's rolled
Turning me into something angry full of despite
I've now became a member & we own the night
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
Burning bridges & broken hearts
Drug addiction is where it starts
Consumed my life, just like a storm
With my first high a thief was born
There is no truth, you might of heard
A lie was told with every word
Decisions were made at an extreme
Done some things, I couldn't of dreamed
It's hard to say sorry but I'll try
Was a piece of & can't deny
Had no respect or any remorse
headed for death on a crash course
Up until the day I got the day I got busted
There's no way I could of been trusted
All my emotions & feelings were gone
couldn't be depended or counted on
Didn't know what I was capable of
Put my daughter at risk because of a drug
I can't believe it, I'm so ashamed
Have no excuse, I except all the blame
Only thing to do now is make a change
Must forgive my self in exchange
It's time I put my foot on the ground
Never to late to turn it around
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
Seconds away from a bad decision
Lead to your death, or land you in prison
What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger
Stop & think just a little bit longer
My own death certificate won't be signed
Times of adversity, a mans defined
What's the meaning of defining moment
Capture life's opportunities, own it
The web we weave, is still yet to be sown
Sometimes figure things out on our own
Perseverance through struggle's, what it takes
Can't always learn from somebody mistakes
It takes knowledge in order for you to succeed
Saying that you must follow before lead
Your not a failure unless you didn't try at all
How would you get up if you'd never fall
It doesn't matter in what order you place
There isn't anything sweeter than grace
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
Express train to hell just left the station
does anyone still have a reservation
if so don't worry, it's alright if you do
we'll just get you on the way back through
those already aboard were arriving soon
to where time is told with a needle & spoon
& the clock is only hanging on by a thread
you have just entered the land of the dead
the fate of your life, now has a sinister plot
any last order's before you take your shot
if not then push the plunger & fade away
who wants to live until there old & gray
it's all overrated, plus I have your soul
to get you here I achieved my goal
not many make it back or even try
they call heroin the devil & this is why
tricks you into becoming someone your not
like it was your friend from all the joy it brought
always picked you up, on days you were down
now just makes you sick when it's not around
it's on a war path & destroys what it touches
so never leave the house without bringing your crutches
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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Derek Vallandingham Poem
R.I.P
Memories fade, how long do they last
Thinking about you, won't forget our past
Wasn't just a friend, more like a brother
Alway's down to ride, there for another
Now your gone, left your daughter behind
Don't worry bout it, as if she were mine
& it's no thing, I love that girl to death
What I'd give you to have one more breath
The day I heard the news I fell & dropped
Heart skipped a beat may of even stopped
Wish I could rewind the clock, stop the time
Because a friend like you is hard to find
Trying to keep it together, let you go
Got to be strong, can't let my emotions show
I'm falling apart, trying the best I can
Steady losing focus, don't understand
At the top of my game, fell so fast
Don't feel the same, like I'm wearing a mask
My future is dim doesn't seem too bright
Gotta step outta the dark, into the light
Even though I'm hurt, this isn't the end
It's time I say goodbye, to my best friend
Copyright © Derek Vallandingham | Year Posted 2020
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