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Best Poems Written by Tweedles Dumdee

Below are the all-time best Tweedles Dumdee poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Loch Nessie

Five fingers,
ten toes,
two eyes, 
one nose,
one tongue,
and two teeth 
What have I just described?
The Loch Ness Monster (aka loch nessie)

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Eleven Minutes

Minutes eleven
soon it will be seven,
time is ticking, 
I like knitting,
I have a horse,
do you like my porsche,
time is divine,
will you be mine?

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Efron Jevron

Ball in the pocket,
Glass eye in the socket,
Ripped abs,
big dabs,
too many fingers in too many pies,
Zac Efron has a glass eye

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My Feathery Love

My love my love 
I hear your calls from above 
You are like a dove 
covered in feathers.
Yes you are so clevers 
My love my love 
Come into my arms
And with my charms
We will disarm all thy’ filthy enemies
Until they are thy frenemies 
Upon a faithful Valentines.

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Mangrove Jack

Mangrove Jack
He might attack
Always lurking 
Never twerking 
Twigs in his hair
His smell everywhere 
Dirt under his nails
His creepiness prevails 
Mangrove Jack
He will be back…

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My Golden One

The setting sun
my golden one
a picture painted in the sky
never did I think to say goodbye
Smiling while finding you my darling dear
losing you I shed a silver tear
I was begging you to stay 
But like a feather in the wind, the pain will float away

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Mole Rat

I cannot type 
I cannot write 
I cannot read
I cannot see 
I cannot hear 
I cannot smell 
I am like a mole rat

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The Circle of Life

Life is like a circle,
It has no end,
You can see it in the flowers,
You can smell it in the breeze,
You can feel it in your backside when you get a brain freeze,
So, what is life you might ask,
well that you will find after dark,
so, if you are an orb,
you might not fit in a zorb,
but life is round,
just like you,
because life is like a circle,
it goes round and round,
it has no end.

Details | Tweedles Dumdee Poem

Speeches and leeches

Speeches peaches,
Just like leeches,
Sucking my blood,
Sucking my nards,
It’s really hards,
Just like a rock,
They’re in my sock!

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The Fiddling Fiddler

Shorts up his arse,
Not moving very fast,
Shorts are too mini,
You see too much skinny,
Hand down his pants,
As if there were ants,
The “fit” of his shorts,
Made our lunch aborts,
Fiddling fiddling all the time,
In his teeny tiny shorts the colour lime,
Slick and wet they are so tight,
Will he get out of them… 
He might (not).