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Best Poems Written by John Mcgrath

Below are the all-time best John Mcgrath poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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Don,T Call Him That!

Did yer mammy ever say"dont call him or her, that?
whenever ye,v called someone, "dim!"or"a prat!?
Well i called my theiving brother a monkey!an got skelpt!
and told that he was to be considered as a whelp!(a puppy dog)
So now he is out on parole from the local dogs home.
He,s just been detoxing like a fool foaming on the phone.
Help me mammy!was all he cried and barked and pled.
she should have skelpt the monkey then fed him water and bread!

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I Am !An Echo.

WHO ARE YOU AND THE ANSWER WAS ,I AM!
SO I HAVE STRUGGLED THRO LIFE TILL  MY COFFIN WAS CALMED.
ADAM INVENTED WAR FROM THE JEALOUSY OF EVES BIRTHING CRIES,
AND MANKIND IS LEFT ASKING FOR ETERNITY,WHO AM I?.

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God!And Dog!

When you hear the annoying yaps of them pups.
Remember the gifts they bring as hunters.
Then lose the fear of hungering "cause of luck.
And temper from the whiffs of thier farters.

They act as Alarm clocks and not just for work.
Legally eat a burgler with a well earned meal.
Scares the Cats! an,allyway Frocks?!barely a bark!
Fiercely defencive kuckers!for a stroke and a feel.

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Tribute To Susan Boyle.

S is for the songstress O Sunshine.
U is all the whole world to mime.
S is for the pride O the Scottish.
And the A is for oor Angel we wished.
Named and baptised as Susan Boyle.

Boy did the Good Lord bless us all.
On oor own Mother type Kelly,s doorstep.
You were chosen to tread the red carpets.
Littered by the flowers of your fans.
E is for the Everlasting thanks O your Clans.

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Cruel To Be Kind.

Is it better to burn my tongue to find for myself?
the taste!the fun! the poorish!or wealth?
I go raw as i wander in dark hidden glens.
with my maw and paw and girny wains!
We had fled from the invaders with fire! them that brought the first light we expired!
Burning our beds,killing warriors and worshipping some unworldly sire!
now we are still hidden in our own wee places of secret meetings!
in every house in alba!some might think it,s the garden of eden!

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Onward Journey

BUGS!HAVE BUGS,THAT ALSO HAVE BUGS.
WITH KIN AND HISTORIES SELDOMLY DUG.
WITH HAMMERS AND CHISSELS WRONGFULLY USED.
AND COPYCAT FAILURES ALL BEING CONFUSED.
STEP FORWARD THE CRUSHING FOOT.
THE UNKNOWING TORTURORS ARE IN CAHOOTS.
INBORN SURVIVORS ARE BLESSED PROOF.
ONE SINGLE BUGS ENOGH TO MOVE.
THOUGH ALL THE MIGHTY  THUNDER  OVERHEAD.
A BUG IS SAFELY IN ITS OWN DOMAIN...in bed!

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Happy Anniversary.

On this date,we both celebrate!
when our paths came together!
I met my mate over broth filled plate!
then felt daft!when the soup trickled over!
we both broke out in laughter!
as you tidied up my chin!
Will you be my pal forever?
Master and mistress in everything?

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T.R.I.B.U.T.E. T.O. R.A.B.B.Y.(Accross Poetry)

The greatest Bard of all Scotia.
Reigning immortal king O peasant familia.
Idealistic and unique commentator.
Born to magic words of any orator.
United differences empathised.
Tuned to the masses and idolised.
Eternal gratitude to our Rabbie.
Tickling our attitude for a party.
Oor Robert Burns O the Celtic.
Rhymer of yarns and purest magic.
Auld lang syne and Scots wha hae.
Beautiful member of the human ways.
Born here and forever after.
Your name is The Bard of Scottish patter.

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The Other Side of the Wall.

ON THE LAND WHERE I WAS BORN,THERE WAS ONLY CHEIFS OF EVERY CLAN.
THEN CAME THE KINGS OF SERVANT MAN PREPARING CONQUEST OVER THE LANDS.
THEIR STRANGE DREAMS OF DOMINATION WITH GODS SUPREME AND MAN FORGOTTEN.
OUR WAYS OF CLAN RULE AMONG OUR NATION.
FRIGHTENED THEIR VERY IMAGINATIONS.
WE HAD TOO MANY CHEIFS WHO HATED THEIR STATUS!
HIGHTENING THE FEARS OF THOSE SUPERSTIOUS.
SO THE RETREATED AND BUILT A WALL WITHIN.
AND THE PEOPLE VICTORIOUS BEGUN TO SING!
COME TO THE LAND OF THE BONNIE FREE SCOTS!
WHERE THE WELCOME IS HONEST AND THE BEST WE HAVE GOT!
HADRIANS WALL IS A MONUMENT TO FEAR!
OUTSIDE LISTENS AND THE OTHERS DISSAPEAR!
OUR GARDEN OF PARADISE HAS NO GATES!
JUST FULL OF CLANS WHO WILL GLADLY FILL YOUR PLATES!

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The Original Dogsbody!

I WAS ONLY A BRICKLAYERS HELPER,
WHO GOT TO KNOW TOO MUCH.
SO I WANDERED INTO THE DESERT,
AND BEGAN TO BUILD WITH MY TOUCH.

A SECRET CHAMBER THAT WOULD HOLD A KEY.
MY APPRENTICES WERE BAFFLED!
TO BREAK IT?THEY WOULD NEVER SEE,
WHAT WAS HIDDEN IN THIS TRIANGLE!

SO I SHOWED THEM HOW TO BUILD IT SMALL.
AS REVEALED TO ME BY MY MASTER.
AND PLACE A RAZOR THAT WILL NEVER FAIL!
OR PEEL!AND RESISTANT TO ALL DISASTERS!