Best Unremitting Poems
In the darkest gloom I have only dreamt
As many can’t; though slumber sent
As many gently slept; I cannot sleep
With rest disturbed from rancid dreams
From the beginning of life I could never awaken
The sorrow and pain that many have forsaken
Hearts turn to stone; as I have three
And none were ever given to me
Why- has the lights of youth, in dawns caressed
Do they shake in dreary storms redressed?
From every dream of bad and good
An obscurity that haunts my blood:
From all mountains, or the hills
From the black beak of the river mills
From a moon that hides behind a turning sun
In its glory revealed for everyone
From every killer’s lullaby
That has passed beside me in the night
From the power and surety of every aftershock
With the world taking my ticking clock
The alarm…ever merciful, never goes off
He came into your life from afar
At first he stood and watched from a distance
He whispered not to you but to another
Then he stepped closer to call forth-another one
This one like you
Sorrow called forth Nanator and with him your soul
He faded and tainted your most precious gift
He reached out to fleck my wings with grey too that day
For that day he nearly filled the well again
Still he had barely begun and his work grew ever closer to us both
This time he whispered to you from a foot away
Thus thrice he reached out to call forth another
Yet each time ‘twas I who wept for our suffering
For no tears have fallen from thine eyes in many years
Still Sunder gave you something in return for all he had stolen
Didn’t he . . . didn’t he
For all the bits and pieces of your soul
You were given something so dearly precious it hurt to have it
And now you lament with a voice to be heard
By the few who were to know the one buried so deep inside
The few to be loved and to love you
Desolation knew this would be so
So he whispers to you often now and from afar
Knowing that you cannot help but to listen and to grieve
With your new voice
Though it rarely rises above a breath to be a whisper
It sings of your great disenchantment
Your disbelief and your faith in the void
It allows you to cry
To tell the tale and story of your greatest sorrow
Within you there lies a faith of something more
And the desire to see
And cause the light to glimmer within another’s eyes
One whose life could carry your hopes within them
To lend your strength to
One who might have all that you denied yourself
For these long and many years
So heavy upon your shoulders
And yet this can never be and this is what despairs you so
For none to follow you
None at all
Never
Never”
And thus she spoke to me plainly
To show me my loss of faith anew
So in her despair in her sorrow
My unbelief breathes again
My search for desolation reborn
For this knowledge too great to bear
Thus I fled and so it was
I ran
A great many years
I hid myself deep within
Beyond the reach of sunlight and the eye of the moon
And in the darkness
I tore out all that caused my pain
I read everything again
To see
And to know
Why it was I had
So long ago embraced wholly my unbelief
And so it was that I told my affections the one truth
That mine is the faith of cynicism
A faith cold and without compassion of another to aid me
It is a faith that is not necessarily for others
And yet it is one that has served me true and well for so long
Faithfully
Has it guided me into the shadows and brought me back
Back into the light once more
Back from where souls are barren
And the land is unforgiven and so many go unredeemed
Where so many never know the kiss of redemption
It brought me back into the world in which you live
Where it is full of lush wonders
And it lives all around you
And such is its beauty that it binds me with every breath
And it sings to me with a wrenching lyric
So I forget all my aching desires and lacerations
Of my world where Sorrow rules and Pain is a dark and faded
Mistress
With laughter unseen and smiles unheard
And where I am alone
Like the many others all around me
All the empty shells
Of the void”
I fell into a well of silence then
Neither was the Angel inclined to break the stillness
And together we two
Sat with quiet contemplation
And for a time the sky grew light towards dawn
Though the sun did not yet shine
Nor did the moon set
And the fading remained steadfast
Heavy upon us both
But again I found within me a need to speak
So I turned to her
But she was faster and broke the silence first
She placed a gentle hand upon my shoulder
And then her head upon her hand
So comforting a gesture
Thus she spoke
“Tell me why, oh why
With your lacking faith and great bitterness
How is it you can find the strength to go on
With such sorrows of the world so heavy upon your soul
That your heart breaks with each parting
And your mind cries to be heard
By the one, the only one
Tell me why, oh why
You continue on
And you never summon the Sorrow
To take your hand in his?”
And again he took up his pen
To place upon pages
That his soul and heart may be heard
His message may be listened to
Though he has no voice
For the one, the only one
And he awoke
In dream
Once more I stood before the Seraph
Upon the brink of this world and the next
With a bright star illuminating the infinite sky
And behind me a gossamer stair descended
Yet all of this I saw so vaguely
For my eyes beheld the Angel once more
Once again I noticed her smile
The whisper of rose upon her cheeks
Soft luminescence within her eyes
A tender sheen of dewdrop red upon her lips
And her luscious waves and shimmering of hair
I inhaled all her intoxicating scent
The unknown essence
And yet this time I noticed
A flaw
Upon bright downy wings
I saw a slight shading a dimming of the white
There lay a breath of grey
A lamentation arose within me
But the Seraph gazed upon me to smile
Thus she spoke
As her words fell upon my ears
The unremitting serenade arose throughout
To sing with much despair so all would know
The reasons for the dimming of the sun
The shading of the vast skies
Why the moon rose to blot out the bright stars
To place sorrow here upon the edge of the world
Behind me the waves of lamentation hit the stair
To shatter the silken strands to dust
And within me a keening rose
From deep inside beyond the soul’s resting-place
Out from the depths it rose
To rage and unleash its wrath
To cause my blood to bubble and boil
To fill my body and mind with a conflagration
I raised my arms above
And opened my eyes wide gazing beyond
The rabid vortex of fire
To scream
I screamed, I screamed
To break my soul
To this it was my turn to answer
With a slow shake of my head
I answered the Angel
With a quiet calm of serenity
I grinned
“How can I surrender to my pain
When there are ones such as she
Who ache
Who cry out and go unanswered and ever unheeded
Tell me why I should put myself before such a one as she
How can I give in when to do so would break my heart
Thus for all the others who grieve
And see what I see
So I will go on
Forever on
Though it takes my life
From now till then
If I could and replace it too
I would take the torment from one other”
And as I said this the Angel sat up to frown
But before she spoke to me a long moment passed
This time she asked a question
With an answer too
And so I would say no more
No more
“Have you realised at long last
That no longer can you continue to run
You can run no more”
So she spoke
With whispers
And behind me rose an infinite stair descending
Above me deep in the sky rose a soft yellow sunlight
A bright star illuminating the heavens
Within it I watched the Seraph
Fly and so she soared
And from the edge of the world
I slowly turned
To step down with the song in my ears
The unremitting serenade
I awoke