Best Satirerights Poems
(The Silent Screams of Asparagus)
4th place in contest
The Swiss, those bastions of “Pease, Not War”
That neutral country to the core
Have gone to the edge – then one step more
On the Dignity of Plants
The killing of flora is morally wrong
The concept of “Plant Rights” missing too long
They’re crying out loud and crying out strong
On the Dignity of Plants
They’ve adopted a biocentric moral view
Living plants are alive just like me and you
So we have to be thinking in all that we do
On the Dignity of Plants
Individual plants have an inherent worth
They don’t just appear, they get here by birth
So when dealing with plants we have to think first
On the Dignity of Plants
They say that the farmer can mow his own field
They don’t explain why – but the hay has appealed
Beheading of flowers – on that he must yield *
To the Dignity of Plants
The Swiss enshrinement of “plant dignity”
Is a symptom of cultural disease
Infecting Western culture
Bringing critical thinking to its knees
The Judeo-Christian world view
Which upheld the unique nature of man
Has fallen on hard times so now we can sue
We’ve no leg on which we can stand
Animal rights from this poisonous soil
Have crippled our courts, caused tempers to boil
Now flora and fauna have joined the coil
On the Dignity of Plants
If animals and man can feel real pain
As PETA explains and explains and explains
Then plants should be treated exactly the same
That’s the Dignity of Plants
Now some Swiss are saying that plants must come first
That “Man” is the AIDS of our dear Mother Earth
We may have to expel him for he is the curse
On the Dignity of Plants
We live in a time of cornucopian wealth
Yet millions of humans suffer in health
So hiding behind “plants rights” in stealth
Is no Dignity of Man
Me, I’ve got my dignity
Plants equal to man is just foreign to me
Giving plants our rights is immorality
And that is my stance on Plants
Mdailey
* At this point it remains unclear whether this action is condemned because it
expresses a particular moral stance of the farmer toward other organisms or
because something bad is being done to the flowers themselves.
This is no HOAX. The concept of what could be called “plant rights” is being
seriously debated in the Swiss courts.