Never do I sit in thought, of why my life's a mess,
You have no life dear masters, that's something I must profess.
I'm never stuck for what to wear, I have one and only coat,
No jeans, no sweater or dresses, not even a little tote.
Never do I need direction, in education or career,
I sit around by the fireplace, with my floppy ears.
Contraception is never a necessity when I ‘hook up’ with a mate,
There’s no tortured analysis of last night’s disastrous date.
Though life's not always roses, danger, dog-pound, strife,
I'll consider myself lucky to cross the road with my life.
I might get a little frisky, produce puppies here and there,
But the vet's knife will stop my fun - Don't think that's very fair!
If I ever bite or nip you, I won't exactly be your favourite pet,
I could be going for an eternal sleep, back to that fun-stopping vet.
So do I really have 'The Dog's Life?' I'll leave it for you to decide,
Luxury or Jeopardy? Would you like my life? Or would Woe betide?
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