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The Excited Southerner Proposes To A Woman - Lyrics by Sandler Adam


Lyrics
[
Setting: A restaurant with music playing in the background]"
And now the Excited Southerner proposes to a girl."
Girl: "
You wanted to ask me something?"
Excited Southerner: "
Yes, I did. I - first of all I just wanted to saythat you're -- very pretty girl, and I, I -- hoo -- you'the -- we'veknown each other for so long now, and-uh, it's about time that the twoof us -- we're both getting older right now, and-uh, and I don't want todie alone, I -- tell you that much -- hoo -- getting ahead of myself --got ta slow down, hoo-hoo, concentrate on what I'm trying to get acrossto you right now, hoo, I mean,whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-whe-willing to be a house husband,you don't have to qu-qu-qu-qu-quit your job there, there, I'm, I'm,the-, I'm, I'm -- hoo, honeymoon in the
Poconos, with the -- hoo, woo hoo -- sex optional -- you don't have todo what you don't want to do, hoo hoo hoo hoo, someday you're going tolove me, and that -- that's fi-- til death do us part I, we'll get thechocolate cake and the sunrise and the sunset -- no prenuptial agree --"
Girl: "
Look, are you trying to ask me to marry you? Because I'm just notready for that kind of commitment."
Excited Southerner: "
Coooooo."

Book: Shattered Sighs