| Lyrics |
I was driving on the freeway in the fast lanewith a rabid wolverine in my underwearwhen suddenly a guy behind me in the back seatpopped right up and cupped his hands across my eyes
I guessed, "
Is it Uncle Frank or Cousin Louie?
Is it Bob or Joe or Walter?
Could it be Bill or Jim or Ed or Bernie or Steve?"I probably would have kept on guessingbut about that time we crashed into the truck
And as I'm laying bleeding there on the asphaltfinally I recognize the face of my hibachi dealerwho takes off his prosthetic lips and tells me
CHORUS
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you thought was just soimportant doesn't matter
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong
I was walkin' to the kitchen for some Golden Grahamswhen I accidentally stepped into an alternate dimensionand soon I was abducted by some aliens from spacewho kinda looked like Jamie Farr
They sucked out my internal organsand they took some Polaroids and said I was a darn good sportand as a way of saying thank you,they offered to transport me back to any point in history that I would careto go,
And so I had them send me back to last Thursday nightso I could pay my phone bill on time
Just then the floating disembodied head of Colonel Sanders started yellin'CHORUSI was just about to mail a letter to my evil twinwhen I got a nasty paper cutand, well, to make a long story short,it got infected and I diedso now I'm up in heaven with St. Peter by the pearly gatesand it's obvious he doesn't like the Nehru jacket that I'm wearing
He tells me that they've got a dress code
Well, he lets me into heaven anyway,but I get the room next to the noisy ice machinefor all eternityand every day he runs by screaming
Everything you know is wrong
Black is white, up is down and short is long
And everything you used to think was so importantdoesn't really matter anymore, because the simple fact remains that
Everything you know is wrong
Just forget the words and sing along
All you need to understand is
Everything you know is wrong(
Everything you know is)
Everything you know is wrong
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