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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required I wake up everyday and it seems like it's the same old thing. The days seem to go faster and I am getting older and wondering what will happen next. I never used to care or worry or think about the future. I always thought my family would be here longer then they were. Life is so different now since a lot of my family is not here. Life for me is not the same. I feel so lost sometimes like I can't find my way to where I am suppose to be. I feel like I am living for everyone else. To make them happy. I used to be happy and thought that I and my husband would be the ones to die first before any of our children. Ever since our daughter died I get up not really wanting to face the day. I still believe in God and Jesus and heaven but everything has changed so much. I dreamed some dreams that some have come true. One dream I had was of you Paula. In my dream you were still alive. I don't understand why that dream was that way and you died anyway. I don't understand why this has happened to you. I don't know if you were suppose to die young or if you wanted to die. I don't know if I could have saved even you if I knew about some things that were happening. I tried your whole life trying to get you to go the right way and not do some things that were hurting you. I think Paula that you gave up hope of ever being happy. You chose the wrong people to be with . you tried to find love and peace in this life but it seems it always escaped you. I wish I could have done more. But I have no regrets because I did my best to help you all of your 34 yrs on this earth. I always prayed for you and always talked to you to help you. It still seems so unreal. I never thought that our daughter would die one day. Death just never seemed possible for one of our children. we always thought we would die before our kids. One thing I know about you Paula that you are in heaven and you did make sure you had Jesus in your heart and life. So, one day I know we will see each other again. Jesus will return for all of the believers and You will be there to meet us and we will spend an eternity in heaven just being together and happy and it will be so amazing. Love you forever and ever. you are happy now and have found the most amazing real love that you were looking for. Give everyone a hug for me up there. Tell them I love them and will see them again one day when Jesus comes back for us. Your Mom and Dad. we will always miss you until we are together.
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