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Peppermint Oil
carousing through the net & pausing to finger the thinning spots on his scalp remembering the moments when women in his earlier life would run their fingers through the flowing locks--- having watched his compadres become cue-balls or slowly peppering away individuals on their way to pure silver, he stumbled upon an herbalist blog that discussed pouring peppermint oil upon his noggin to stimulate the follicles of his hair in hopes that he would be handsome again. vanity provided the impetus to push our man in question to purchase his peppermint oil and to dowse his head in the straight substance in hopes of growing hair throwing much caution to the wind running with the advice of the herbalist. in no time at all his head began to cool it cooled to the point of freezing & then the freezing began to burn & then the burning began to numb his whole head until the feeling seemed to creep inside his throat panging at his temples & he found himself sitting on his knees in front of the toilet trying to make himself puke but the sickness jerked at him as if it would never quite stop. he stuck his index finger down his throat forcing himself to vomit & though the vomiting took his mind off the sickening numbness of his whole head, it only did so for a few seconds--- he crawled on hands & knees to his bed, laying there in a world of brand new pain until morning when he awoke from a sleep he somehow attained--- after rolling out of a skull-crashing dream he threw away the oil & not a hair grew anywhere near his head.
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things