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I HAD A LITTLE NUT TREE
I had a little-nut tree
Nothing would it bear
But a silver nutmeg
And a golden pear.
The King of Spain’s daughter
Came to list me:
She'd heard about my little-nuts
And simply wanted to see.
Her list was entitled “little-nuts guys”
And there were guys she’d missed.
Asked her if it was a crazy-guy survey
Or an anatomical-query list.
She said, my young man
I’ve never seen such a little-nuts display for free:
I’ll put you at the top of the crop,
You and your little-nut tree.
Well, I love to win contests
And be in a top position;
Nothing gives me more pleasure,
Far beyond the competition.
But I’d rather be on her crazy-list and be kissed
Just like Jack Nicholson,
Than on her anatomical-list
And studied by a freak-physician.
My apologies to all lovers of the original, traditional nursery rhyme.
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