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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required I went to the shadchan I listed what my wife should be a pretty, funny, caring woman But the shadchan laid it out for me: "The type of woman who would look your way Would be nearsighted, poor, a career missed I have to be blunt, or I would betray I've been around, trust me on this." "You see, the mind is a computer" "Sometimes unconsciously, factors get combined Women do the math of what they want in a suitor And you, poor shmuck, are not considered a find." I was bitter, so I said, "they just smell cash" But she replied, "you hypocrite, you're the same "You want glamour, humor, and a dowry stash That's how we all play that game." "Men go for women who seem attainable "Shared interests, smarts, or admiration "The ratio of genders must be favorable. If you select by race, add that to the equation." "It's not that I want to be mean "But beauty is signposts to evolution's goal "A brain is designed to reproduce a gene Even if infatuation grabs your soul." So she found me a compatible mate from a war-torn land far away The lady was older, and overweight And she denied that she was gay. We went down that aisle, and tied the knot But then I met a beauty at the car dealership She was like a panther that the zoo forgot She was funny, smart, my commitment flipped. I was going to divorce my wife, this computation stuff was crap When I was with this new girl, I felt like ten out of ten Until one day I found her with a tinfoil cap She was insane, believed in little green men. You can't escape the computation No matter how hard you try Know your limits, your life station That way, you won't have to cry.
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