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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required A poem about the recent loss of my identical twin sister. I love and miss you, sis... -------------- there were two of me once not in the way people mean when they talk about reflection or similarity or matching outfits in photographs i mean two heartbeats that learned each other before language before memory before the world could name us separate you were not beside me you were with me woven through one another a second nervous system a quiet, constant knowing i never had to reach for blue eyes identical to mine but still entirely yours and now reality keeps insisting i am singular as if that is not an amputation as if i have not been bisected without anesthesia in a way that leaves no clean edge no visible place to point and say “this is where she was.” i walk around with an invisible wound something missing mutilated i was torn apart and whatever held me together went with you people look at me and see a whole body but i feel disfigured expected to live without a vital organ who am i without the person who made me make sense who am i without the witness who knew me before i became someone existent they tell me you are still here in my laugh in my hands in the small, indescribable things but that feels like being asked to accept fragments as a whole i don’t want traces i want what was ripped from me as something outside of me someone i could turn toward someone who could look back and lay your head on my shoulder not this silence stitched over where you used to be nerve endings exposed left this way there is no buffer to help make sense of the world turned inside out like all the parts meant to be protected are suddenly visible and still somewhere beneath the damage beneath the wrongness of being only one there is a thread that did not break i feel it in the quiet moments once filled with your voice not gone just unreachable like a room in a house i no longer have the key to there were two of me once and even now in ways i cannot prove or properly survive there still are.
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