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Enter Poem or Quote (Required)Required We don’t call it a situationship, but it lives in that space. between almost and maybe, between love and a placeholder name. He says he loves me. Says he wants forever, says he wants to build. Says, “Don’t leave.” And I whisper back, “I won’t.” Because God, I don’t want to. It sounds beautiful, until the beauty comes with conditions. Because then he looks at me like I’m a dream with an asterisk. Like I’m enough, but not entirely. He says things like, “If only you were smaller…” And maybe he thinks it’s harmless, maybe he thinks it’s motivation, maybe he thinks it’s just words. But it’s never just words. It’s a quiet kind of violence to be held by someone who keeps imagining you different. It’s not the sentence that cuts, it’s the meaning underneath it. It’s the way it tells my mind, “You are loved… but not as you are.” He sees someone else, someone smaller with curves, and suddenly I’m a comparison. “If only you looked like that…” As if my body is a problem he’s patiently waiting to solve. And I start wondering… Do you love me, or do you love the version of me you think you can earn? Do you love my laughter, my heart, my softness… but not the softness that lives on my skin? Because listen... If I am not worthy in this body, then I will never be worthy in another one. If I am not enough right now, then I will not become enough just because the scale agrees with you. Because what happens when I meet my goals? What happens when I am smaller? Do you get to love me louder then? Do you get to claim me proudly then? Do you get to deserve me only after I shrink? No. If you cannot hold me whole… then you do not get me halfway. Because I am not a “before.” I am not a “fix.” I am not a woman you love with exceptions. I am not a body you tolerate until it becomes easier to want. I am here. Now. And if I am not worthy as I stand… Then you will not be worthy when I rise.
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